The future isn’t real until we make it 

September 9, 2026

You want a better kind of future
One that everyone can share
You're not alone, we all could use it
Stick around, we're nearly there

Paul McCartney, Coming Up

The better kind of future
That everyone can share
Seems a million miles away
But I can taste it in the air

Call me stupid – call me crazy
Cuz dreaming doesn't make it true
But we can rewrite any story
Every day is fresh and new

Shun the screeching noise
Of the broken machine
The world is enchanting
And it's bursting with our dreams

The future isn't real until we make it

by Richard W. Bray

Shipwrecked, Like a Heart

August 21, 2026

Shipwrecked, like a heart
Slowly, I will fall apart
No more boats on my horizon
Demise won't be at all surprising

Stranded in the endless sand
A castaway in crazy land
The nothing that is always near
Freezes all my empty tears

Memories will haunt my days
Rippling ghosts are just like waves
The premature and lost goodbyes
My senseless silly alibis

The painful past that won't let go
Oh, Prospero! Oh, Dan Dafoe!
My future sings a song of dread
My island lives inside my head

by Richard W. Bray

Dancing on Quasars

June 24, 2026


Clickity wickity
Tickity tock
I talk to the trees
And sing to the rocks

Lickity splickity
Knickity knack
The trees only laugh
The rocks all sing back

Hockity pockety
Blippity blap
The sound of the sirens
Is my favorite trap

Snickity snackity
Whippity wap
I tickle my Cyclops
When he takes a nap

Snoopity poopity
Goopity gap
My dog sings a ballad
And sits on my lap

Cookity bookity
Hoppity hip
When you’re dancing on quasars
You better not slip

by Richard W. Bray

Pay attention when you’re angry

June 7, 2026


The conscious mind thinks it’s the Oval Office, when in reality it’s the press office.
Jonathan Haidt

Pay attention when you’re angry
It can show you who you are
Find out where your hurting
By listening to your scars

A friend's girlfriend looks so hot
You wanna fill his gut with shot

One of your buddies at the bar
Just got a really awesome car

Somebody tells a stupid joke
And your head fills up with smoke

That singer dresses funny
Why should he have so much money?

Someone talks about a wedding
And you dream of their beheading


Take a deep breath
Wish everyone the best
Let it out slow
Try and let it go

by Richard W. Bray

The Tyranny of the Therapeutic

March 27, 2025

I’ve been seeing my psychiatrist
For thirty-seven years
We've almost cleaned up
The mess between my ears

I'm passive-aggressive
With an abnormal brain
I got second opinion
And it turns out I'm insane

I'm neurotic and psychotic
With an overactive id
I've got as much self-control
As a four-year-old kid

I'm masochistic, melancholic
And I can't match my sox
I spend my free time
Inside Skinner's Box

I'm egocentric, schizophrenic
And crazy till the end
I'm on every single page
Of the DSM

My personality disorder
Is self-actualized
And my alter ego
Is just one of the guys

My inner child's an old soul
But I'm still Jung at heart
Regression and depression
Haven't stilled my manic heart

by Richard W. Bray

Dance because you’re not a dancer

January 25, 2025


I only have one thing to say
What are you gonna do today?

It's not a quiz
There's no wrong answer
Dance because you're not a dancer

Cook some eggs
Take a shower
Photograph the Eiffel Tower

Find a game
You like to play
Lollygag your time away

Have a beverage
With a friend
Read a novel to the end

Walk your dog
Smell some flowers
Sit around and talk for hours

Meet a deadline
With your team
Binge a show about a queen

Wax a roadster
Hike the hills
Debate the merits of free will

It's not about what others do
Do the thing that's right for you


by Richard W. Bray

A notion and a daydream

January 17, 2025

The world is a river
It sings to me in rhyme
Tiny specks of matter
Straddle space and time

The rhythm of the ocean
Berries on the vine
The universe in motion
Your body talks to mine


Vagrant spirits jingle
Clad in sundry hue
Everything that ever was
Lives inside of you

The rhythm of the ocean
Berries on the vine
The universe in motion
Your body talks to mine


A smile and a sunbeam
A moment and a prayer
A notion and a daydream
Your love is everywhere

The rhythm of the ocean
Berries on the vine
The universe in motion
Your body talks to mine


by Richard W. Bray

Honesty Is My Policy

January 1, 2025

The passion for setting people right is in itself an afflictive disease.
–Marianne Moore

I told Candace Walter's cheating
I told Megan she was fat
I said Gail's looks are fleeting
And that's such an ugly hat

I told Dan his son's a loser
And his wife is scarfing pills
I told Frankie he's a boozer
They should pay me for my skills

I told Ted his breath is frightful
It could make an angel cry
The truth is so delightful
I'm a great and fearless guy

I'm tenacious and observant
I refuse to pull my punches
I'm a real public servant
They should honor me at lunches

I'm a paladin of virtue
In a world of falsity
If reality can hurt you
You're a fool for blaming me


by Richard W. Bray

Miscommunication

April 7, 2024

Got a new snork vorple
It's really kuper-kippy
It keeps me wipple-wapple
When the wunk is wappy-wippy

I don't like your gornpop
You're such a norky noobler
The mips are full of zanzi-plips
Don't jim-jomp on the goobler

When I was young, we porpled
We confoobled for a song
But now the nukstips borbalize
And snirkbob all day long

Don't call me a fubble flooper
Just cuz I'm purpipsy
The dinder dob is nabby dab
Someday you'll bloop the blipsy

by Richard W. Bray

let the people heal

January 27, 2024

All the times that I've cried
Keeping everything I knew inside
It's hard
But it's harder to ignore it
Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)

greed and war and vanity
liars on tv
crooks and phonies
creeps and fools
try and influence me

endless brutality
things i cant unsee
i just need some room to breathe
some space
to be me

cant they hear our cries?
do they know how to feel?
stop the taking
stop the killing
and let the people heal


by Richard W. Bray

Teaching Kids

February 26, 2022

My favorite thing about teaching kids was the kids. They’re so much fun to be around. And they have so much love, a kind of love you won’t find anywhere else.  

As a teacher, every year I had the privilege to be with a group of kids for nine and a half months. During that time, my number one objective was to do everything I could to strengthen and support families.  

Parent conferences are scheduled early in the year, so teachers can meet all the parents and talk about our goals and address any concerns that the teacher or the parent may have.  

One year, a mother told me during our parent conference that her daughter was really enjoying my class, and the mother was happy about this because the girl had some problems the previous year during third grade. I told the mother this shocked me because she was such a spectacular kid, very enthusiastic and a real joy to be around. 

Anyhow, fourth grade was a grand success for this kid — she made all sorts of wonderful progress, socially and academically. The mother expressed gratitude every time I saw her. 

A Knock on My Door

One morning near the end of the year, I got a knock on my door before school. It was the girl and her father, whom I had never met before. The girl was holding a gift. 

The father said, “Mr. Bray, my wife and I would like to thank you for everything you did for our daughter this year.” I invited them in and told the father that it was my pleasure to be around his wonderful daughter every day. 

I have never seen anything more beautiful than the love parents have for their children. Nothing I have ever accomplished on a professional level ever made me feel better than knowing that I played a small role in the life of this family. Like Ira Gershwin said, “They can’t take that away from me.”  

She Called Me Gramma

There are some kids at an elementary who shine so bright that everybody knows their name — all the kids, all the teachers, and even the parents and volunteers. Liliana (not her real name) was one such student.  

Liliana lived with her gramma, and she was always saying things like, “Gramma said this” and “Gramma did that.” One time I walked past Liliana’s desk as she was working on a project. She pointed at her work and said to me, “Gramma, look!” Then she raised her head and gave me and the class the funniest look I ever saw, as if to say, “Oh my God, I just called Mr. Bray Gramma.”  

It was the longest sustained laugh I ever experienced in a classroom. I had to sit down because I was laughing so hard. I was actually very flattered because I knew she loved her gramma very much. 

by Richard W. Bray 

Love Angry

February 17, 2022

Love angry
Love selfish
Love empty
Love cruel
Love like a miser
Love like a fool

Love stupid
Love needy
Love lying
Love loud
Love like a loser
Always too proud

Love hopeless
Love hurtful
Love hungry
Love vain
Love like a bully 
Pass along pain

by Richard W. Bray

The Sparkle in My Dreams

June 6, 2021

Poppies
I'm at the tip of the top
There's a pep in my step
I got the hippity hop
Winning all of my bets

I’m hanging on a hope 
Met a special sort of friend
I’m such a silly old dope
Am I falling again?

Gonna get a new start
I’m so happy I could scream
For the bounce in my heart
And the sparkle in my dreams

I’m hanging on a hope 
Met a special sort of friend
I’m such a silly old dope
Am I falling again?

By Richard W. Bray

like it or not

August 15, 2020

Sometimes perhaps you don’t want to be a part of me.
Nor do I often want to be a part of you.
But we are, that’s true!

Langston Hughes, Theme for English B

8 billion bodies
all collected
life is never
what’s expected
tell yourself
you’re not affected
but everything
is all connected

green and blue
it’s all we got
this lovely living
spinning spot
all condemned to
live the thought—
stuck together
like it or not

stuck together
like it or not

stuck together
like it or not

by Richard W. Bray

I can fix him

August 30, 2019


And once they have you, safe and sound,
They want to change you all around.

Dorothy Parker

I can change him
I can fix him
Make him do
Just what I say
I can bend him
I can mold him
Like a big ole
Ball of clay

I’ll carve him up
Like a banana
He’ll be my
Special toy
If you want
To own a man
Treat him like
A little boy

Men are helpless
Men are silly
Men are stupid
Men are weak
I can guide him
I can dress him
I can change
The way he speaks

He don’t know
No better
He’s a senseless
Waste of life
I’ll own the pockets
In his pants
I’ll own his nuts
I’ll be his wife

I’ll put his ass to work
I’ll never let him slip
I’m doing him a favor
Just watch me crack my whip

by Richard W. Bray

Fancy Land

May 24, 2018

All is grand in Fancy Land
With towering mushrooms growing wild
There’s purple skies that mesmerize
And no one ever hurts a child

The unicorn band in Fancy Land
Plays heavenly tunes with a thundering beat
Wishes are granted and all is enchanted
And everyone has enough to eat

Hate is banned in Fancy Land
Everyone lives how they want to be
An endless sensation of happy creation
Where all the creatures are roaming free

You’re welcome to visit Fancy Land
As long as the magic lives inside you
With access forbid to all but kids
But grownups wanna go there too

by Richard W. Bray

Long ago and far away

March 14, 2018

Long ago and far away
I wasn’t very nice
Did a lot of ugly things
And paid a gruesome price

Beat my chest and banged my drum
Ready for a fight
Split some heads and ate some fists
Threw my anger left and right

Tough guy tried to swing on me
I punched him in the head
He landed on the concrete
And now that man is dead

Judge called me a loser
And a menace to the town
The world would be much better
Without your type around

Banged my soul against a wall
For twenty years inside
Then one day I read a book
It woke me up inside

The man I killed and guys like me
Are trash you throw away
When we kill each other
We really make your day

The man I killed is haunting me
And waiting at the door
I honor him by loving strays
And comforting the poor

by Richard W. Bray

Alabama Blue

February 28, 2018

Never said she was married
I didn’t see a ring
When Blue started barking
I picked up my things
Found myself staring
At a mighty big knife
Blue bit his ankle
And we ran for our life

Time to move along now
Alabama Blue
This no-good town
Ain’t fit for me and you
They’ll be pretty girls for me
And some new smells for you
Time to move along now
Alabama Blue

Honeys kept me busy
I was cuttin’ a rug
Honkytonk hero
Happy hittin’ a jug
Seven hundred dollars
Is a mighty big bill
Me and Blue skedaddled
Made it over the hill

Time to move along now
Alabama Blue
This no-good town
Ain’t fit for me and you
They’ll be pretty girls for me
And some new smells for you
Time to move along now
Alabama Blue

Never meant no trouble
Don’t wanna hurt no one
I’m not a bad feller
But I do love my fun
Never met nobody
Better than Blue
The finest amigo
That a man ever knew

Time to move along now
Alabama Blue
This no-good town
Ain’t fit for me and you
They’ll be pretty girls for me
And some new smells for you
Time to move along now
Alabama Blue

by Richard W. Bray

Los ladrones que mandan

February 25, 2018

But, scarce observed, the knowing and the bold
Fall in the gen’ral massacre of gold;
Wide-wasting pest! that rages unconfin’d,
And crowds with crimes the records of mankind
For gold his sword the hireling ruffian draws,
For gold the hireling judge distorts the laws;
Samuel Johnson, The Tenth Satire of Juvenal, Imitated

The rich everyday exhort a part of their daily allowance from the poor
not only by private fraud but by public law

Thomas More, Utopia

Los ladrones que mandan
The thieves who always win
Extracting every dollar
From misery and sin

When tyrants, kings and pirates
Lay the land to waste
Los ladrones que mandan
Will always get their taste

Tax you, fine you, frame you
Guilty any way you plea
Los ladrones que mandan
Lock you up for living free

Ain’t no way to ever reckon
How much they really stole
Los ladrones que mandan
Crush you body, crush your soul

by Richard W. Bray

Hollow

February 23, 2018

The factories are empty
And cities waste away
Leaders sell us out for cash
And tell us all to pray

The churches are deserted
The schools are falling down
We got abandoned buildings
People sleeping on the ground

We got hurt and hate and war
We got pills that waste your soul
They serve us bombs and bullets
We’re just trying to get whole

They hollowed out our country
And left an empty shell
They got thirty bits of silver
I hope they spend it well

by Richard W. Bray

Machine

December 27, 2017

They wanna count you, classify you
Stamp a number on your head
Aggravate you, allocate you
Every day until you’re dead

They sanitize and organize you
Till you fit in the machine
Hypnotize you, terrorize you
Till you’re lonely scared and mean

Indoctrinate you, fill-with-hate you
And nourish you with lies
Calibrate you, automate you
And march you off to die

by Richard W. Bray

Pull Away from the Screen

August 12, 2017

Pull away from the screen
Put on your ramblin’ shoes
Get yourself outside
Or you’re gonna blow a fuse

Say hello to your body
Run and jump around
Try and race your shadow
To the other end of town

Take a walk in the forest
And hug the nearest tree
If you listen it will tell you
How to set your spirit free

The world is interactive
And the graphics are sublime
Open up your senses
And hear the cosmos chime

by Richard W. Bray

Man Enough for Me

December 29, 2016

xxxmancookseggs

Great Spirit — give to me
A Heaven not so large as Yours,
But large enough — for me

Emily Dickinson

He cooks me eggs
When I wake up
He never needs
To act tough
He just feeds the family
That’s Man enough
For me

He’s home for supper
Every night
He loves the kids
And treats em right
Isn’t really hard to see
He’s Man enough
For me

He don’t write sonnets
To sing my praise
He warms my night
And fills my days
Always keeps me company
That’s Love enough
For me

by Richard W. Bray

Peer Pressure (and Getting Paid)

October 6, 2016
zzzzbedpundits

All the other pundits say we have to be strong
So I’d look pretty stupid if I didn’t go along
Pundits work for think tanks so we know a lot of things
Strength means dropping cluster bombs on helpless human beings

All the other pundits say America must lead
It isn’t our concern if millions have to bleed
Our enemies respect us when we’re muscular and bold
Our paymasters reward us based upon munitions sold

All the other pundits say we must support our friends
Don’t obsess on means if you can justify the ends
Friends can chop some heads if they possess a lot of oil
Friends with good locations set their enemies to boil

All the other pundits say we must pay any price
And pundits live in neighborhoods and houses that are nice
Pundits tell you simple folk what is wrong and right
Pundits think that wars are great for other folks to fight

by Richard W. Bray

Don’t owe the world an explanation

September 18, 2016

zzzzearthsky


Don’t owe the world an explanation

For all the things I’ve done
I won’t assist your calculation
Who to love and who to shun

Don’t owe the world an explanation
I don’t have to pass your test
Not here to seek evaluation
I just wish everyone the best

Don’t owe the world an explanation
I’ve known love and I’ve known pain
And your morality fixation
Lives and dies inside your brain

Don’t owe the world an explanation

You do your thing; I do mine
You can take your allegations
And stick em where the sun don’t shine

Don’t owe the world an explanation
Why I do the things I do
Lord knows my ultimate salvation–
It ain’t really up to you

by Richard W. Bray

Politicians Begging Scraps off a Rich Man’s Table

June 6, 2015
AAAAAAAAAAAAorgan grinder

I’ll sing you a story
That ain’t no fable
Politicians begging scraps
Off a rich man’s table

They sing for their supper
They dance for dessert
American people
Get left in the dirt

Stealing from the poor
And giving to the rich
Leaving everyone else
Stuck in a ditch

So easy to buy
A congressional flunky
Like an organ grinder
With a cute little monkey

by Richard W. Bray

Resources for a Lesson Plan on Tautologies and Circular Reasoning

January 9, 2015

If it sounds country, man, that’s what it is; it’s a country song.

Kris Kristofferson

A tautology is a grammatical construct; circular reasoning is a logical fallacy. The two phenomena are related but not identical.

A tautology is a sentence in which the conclusion is equivalent to its premise. In other words, in a tautology, the predicate can be surmised by reading the subject.

Here are some examples of tautologies:

My mother’s brother is my uncle.

Father Brown is a priest.

It is what it is.

A circular argument occurs when someone affirms her position simply by restating it in different terms. In other words, circular reasoning is an argument where the conclusion depends upon or is equivalent to its premise.

In a circular argument:

X is true because of Y.

and

Y is true because of X.

A circular argument is similar in structure to a tautology, but a circular argument includes causal reasoning (because, therefore, for this reason, etc.).

Here are some examples of circular reasoning:

My mom is terrific because she is wonderful.

People do what Dave tells; therefore, he is a great leader.

I slumbered beyond my assigned wakeup time; that’s why I overslept.

Lesson Evaluation: Explain why the following examples are tautologies, circular arguments, or neither.

Chris Rock is a hilarious comedian because he makes people laugh.

A bartender is a guy who listens to people talk all day.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

Anthony is extremely strong due to his ability to bench press three hundred pounds.

If aliens didn’t create the pyramids then how come pyramids are the product of technology that didn’t exist on earth at that time?

Allen hasn’t had a drink in twenty-three years, but he isn’t really sober because he doesn’t go to AA meetings and he isn’t working the steps.

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

They are who we thought they were.

If I could tell you, I would let you know.

I stopped eating meat in 1987; that’s what makes me a vegetarian.

by Richard W. Bray

An Activity for Assessing Characters from a Novel (Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich)

November 23, 2014

zzzz

Here’s an activity for assessing characters in a novel. (We’ll be using Love Medicine by Louise Erdrich for this example.)

#1 Class reads a novel with several characters. This activity won’t work with The Old Man and the Sea, for example.

#2 Review nouns and adjectives.

Noun Test

My_______
His______
Her_______
Some_______
A________
An_______
These_______
Those______
This_______
That_______

Adjective Test

My __________ house is __________

My __________ sister is __________

#3 Number off students in to groups of three. (Larger groups will encourage social loafing. It’s better to have two pairs than one group of four.)

#4 Assign a character to each group. It’s ok for more than one group to do the same character.

Group 1
—Marie Lazarre Kashpaw
Group 2—Nector Kashpaw
Group 3—Lulu Nanapush Lamartine
Group 4—June Morrissey
Group 5—Lipsha Morrissey
Group 6—Albertine Johnson
Group 7—Eli Kashpaw
Group 8—Lyman Lamartine
Group 9—Henry Lamartine Jr
Group 10—Gerry Nanapush

#5 Each group uses the novel to generate answers to the following questions:

a) What are four nouns that describe your character?

Example: Nector Kashpaw–Leader, Philanderer, Father, Indian

(Discourage students from going for the easiest, least revealing answers, like man, person, citizen, mammal.)

b) What are four adjectives that describe your character?

Example: Lulu Nanapush Lamartine—Unapologetic, Brave, Concupiscent, Rebellious

c) Explain how two passages (include page numbers) reveal something about your character.

Example—Albertine Johnson

d) What are two things your character wants? (Kurt Vonnegut informs the aspiring novelist to make sure your characters want something, even if it is just a glass of water.)

Example—Gerry Nanapush

1. Freedom
2. To see Shawn, his newborn son

by Richard W. Bray

What T F Is Wrong With You?

August 14, 2014

You never like my cooking
You said my roast was dry
You wouldn’t eat my lasagna
You won’t touch my cherry pie
If you don’t munch on something
I’ll get another guy

I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?

You never liked my family
You said my dad was dirt
You came to brunch on Sunday
But you didn’t bring your shirt
If my brothers ever see you
They’ll fill you up with hurt

I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?

You never do the dishes
You never mop the floor
You think that I’m your maid
You think that I’m your whore
You said you need direction
So, buddy there’s the door

I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?

by Richard W. Bray

Rinky Dink Shadow

June 20, 2014
imagesX3E4UAAQ

Got money in my pants
Got a shiny new car
Got tickets to a dance
Got a seat at the bar
Got everything I earned
From all the work I do
But I never ever learned
That I just needed you

I’m a boat without a sail
I’m a light without a lamp
I’m a letter in the mail
That ain’t got no stamp
I’m a fool without a plan
Darling, can’t you understand?
I’m a rinky dink shadow
Of a man

I’m tearing up the town
I’m breaking all the rules
And I’m rollin all around
With a mighty bunch of fools
Got all my crazy pals
Got a million things to do
Got a thousand horny gals
But I just need you

I’m a boat without a sail
I’m a light without a lamp
I’m a letter in the mail
That ain’t got no stamp
I’m a fool without a plan
Darling, can’t you understand?
I’m a rinky dink shadow
Of a man

by Richard W. Bray

War is Money

October 13, 2013

war-money

War is money
Widows weep
Bombs and rockets
Don’t come cheap

War is money
Napalm glows
It also lights up
A portfolio

War is money
Children die
Oh, what comfort
Blood can buy

War is money
War is power
Should have listened
To Eisenhower

by Richard W. Bray

The Vaster Economy of Desire: Richard Wilbur on the Sumptuous Destitution of Emily Dickinson

November 16, 2012

brook

Philosophers are bound to paradigms and past pronouncements. But no paradigm comes close to capturing our multifarious world. That’s why my favorite philosophers are mostly poets. Poets are less likely to get boxed in by theory or even worry too much about what they were saying a week ago.

Richard Wilbur notes that Emily Dickinson (“not a philosopher”) was “consistent in her concerns but inconsistent in her attitudes” (10; 5). One of Miss Dickinson’s major concerns is the limited capacity of human beings to absorb even a fraction of what we crave. Our gargantuan appetites are ill-fitted to our frail, finite, and terminable bodies. But instead of lamenting this unsuitable arrangement, Emily Dickinson celebrates privation for its own sake:

Heaven is what I cannot reach!

In his 1959 article “Sumptuous Destitution,” Wilbur explores Dickinson’s “huge world of delectable distances,” where desire trumps actual possession (11). As Wilbur explains Dickinson (“Linnaeus to the phenomena of her own consciousness”) the poetess finds anticipation far more enticing than actual possession because “once an object has been magnified by desire, it cannot be wholly possessed by appetite” (4; 8). Employing physical hunger as a metaphor for all human desire, Dickinson explains in “I had been Hungry All the Years” how she “found”

That hunger was a way
Of persons outside windows,
The entering takes away.

Frustration is the inevitable consequence in Dickinson’s world of perpetual want where itching vanquishes scratching. The vigor of Dickinson’s yearnings are “magnified” by elusive wants:

[N]ot only are the objects of her desire distant; they are also very often moving away, their sweetness increasing in proportion to their remoteness. “To disappear enhances” one of the poems begins (11-12).

When Dickinson asserts that

Success is counted sweetest
By those that ne’er succeed

she is “arguing the superiority of defeat to victory, of frustration to satisfaction, and of anguished comprehension to mere possession” (9). Wilbur posits convincingly that, for Dickinson, the dead soldier in “Success is Counted Sweetest” made “the better bargain” than his compatriots who survived the victorious battle because his “defeat and death are attended by an increase of awareness, and material loss has led to a spiritual gain” (10).

Emily Dickinson chose her seclusion, and “At times it seems that there is nothing in her world but her own soul, with its attendant abstractions, and, at a vast remove, the inscrutable Heaven” (12). The God of Emily Dickinson’s capacious consciousness is immense and mysterious. We can spend our lives contemplating Him, but He can only be ingested in small bites.

The creature of appetite (whether insect or human) pursues satisfaction, and strives to possess the object in itself; it cannot imagine the vaster economy of desire, in which the pain of abstinence is justified by moments of infinite joy, and the object is spiritually possessed, not merely for itself, but more truly as an index of the All (11).

In his poem “Hamlen Brook,” Richard Wilbur discovers sumptuous destitution when he is nonplussed by overwhelming natural beauty.

How shall I drink all this?

Joy’s trick is to supply
Dry lips with what can cool and slake,
Leaving them dumbstruck also with an ache
Nothing can satisfy.

by Richard W. Bray

Ain’t Nothin’ Better than a Dog

August 8, 2012

Rusty, Rover, Dusty, Clover, Thumper and Spike
Daphne, Dolly, Dabney, Molly, Jumper and Mike
Lucky, Franklin, Bucky, Jasmine, Happy and Bro
Sonny, Chester, Domino, Dexter, Grady and Moe

At the end of a crazy, hectic day
When you need somebody to play
Ain’t nothin’ better than a dog

Elmo, Gizmo, Ginger, Oso, Dallas and Duke
Winston, Fluffy, Waldo, Duffy, Opal and Luke
Spencer, Sparrow, Stallion, Pharaoh, Ribsy and Red
Parker, Pepper, Pedro, Viper, Apollo and Fred

When you need a faithful family friend
A dog is true and loyal to the end
Ain’t nothin’ better than a dog

Baron, Banjo, Bandit, Bingo, Lily and Zack
Groucho, Kona, Marlowe, Fiona, Lulu and Mac
Corky, Fido, Ollie, Dido, Espresso and Jet
Tobey, Yogi, Kobe, Hoagi, Boney and Babette

You might be thinking you’re real smart
But your brain is always smaller than his heart
Ain’t nothin’ better than a dog

by Richard W. Bray

The Perils of Bardolatry: Harold Bloom’s Limited Perception of Hamlet

September 14, 2011
Harold Bloom

The Perils of Bardolatry: Harold Bloom’s Limited Perception of Hamlet

The activity of art is based on the fact that a man, receiving through his sense of hearing or sight another man’s expression of feeling, is capable of experiencing the emotion which moved the man who expressed it.

Leo Tolstoy, What is Art? (178)

The essential function of art is moral. Not aesthetic, not decorative, not pastime and recreation. But moral.

D.H. Lawrence, Studies in Classic American Literature (180)

When Kurt Vonnegut was working on Slaughterhouse-Five, he told movie-producer Harrison Starr that it was going to be an anti-war novel.

“Why don’t you write an anti-glacier book instead?” Starr quipped.

Vonnegut found the comment amusing, agreeing that wars are “as easy to stop as glaciers.” This knowledge did not dissuade Vonnegut from completing his masterpiece because he realized that no work of art could ever rectify the human situation, and only the silliest sort of fool creates a work of art hoping somehow to fix the world. (This is what logicians refer to as assigning an irrelevant goal.)

But literature has its uses. And W. H. Auden notwithstanding, poetry makes all sorts of things happen. Great works of art render our world a lot more beautiful and slightly less confusing.

Harold Bloom, one of America’s most acclaimed literary critics, has released a curious collection of musings on William Shakespeare’s Hamlet entitled Poem Unlimited. According to Bloom, “of all poems” Hamlet is the “most unlimited,” and, as a “meditation upon human fragility in confrontation with death,” the play “competes only with the world’s great scriptures” (3).

Bloom has long been an idiosyncratic critic, cocksure about his own brilliance and emphatic about the singular authenticity of his opinions. His general predisposition towards even the most revered literary figures is often miserly in terms of handing out approbation. For example, Bloom dismisses Matthew Arnold’s oeuvre in one sentence: “Arnold, long admired both for his poetry and for his literary criticism, was not particularly good at either” (The Best Poems of the English Language 684).

And like the notoriously fussy Mikey from the Life Cereal advertisement of my youth, when Bloom finally comes across something that pleases him, he really likes it.

Hamlet remains our world’s most advanced drama, imitated but scarcely transcended by Ibsen, Chekhov, Pirandello, and Beckett. You cannot get beyond Hamlet, which establishes the limits of theatricality. (7).

Of course, Bloom is hardly the first critic to gush over Hamlet.

It is perhaps not necessary to emphasize the quality of the prose in Hamlet. Here are passages which represent the highest point Shakespeare ever reached in this medium….it is the excellence and the importance of the prose which separates Hamlet from, and in many ways above, all the other plays (George H. W. Rylands, Words and Poetry 159).

So Bloom, a devout secularist who considers “Bardolatry” to be “only another name for authentic response to Shakespeare,” is ecstatic about Hamlet (7). This play’s the thing for Bloom, and its eponymous hero is the pinnacle of literary achievement, eliciting rapturous bellows of praise from the usually cantankerous critic:

[Hamlet] himself is a frontier of consciousness yet to be passed (7);

Hamlet always has had nothing in common with his father, his mother and his uncle. He is a kind of changeling…fathered by himself (9);

Hamlet becomes the freest artist of himself in all literature (51);

We cannot play upon him: he is cleverer than we are, and more dangerous (54);

[T]he likes of] whom we have scarcely encountered before (82);

[H]e is more intelligent than you are, whoever you are (88);

[H]e is a mortal god in an immortal play (90);

Hamlet is the truth, insofar as any hero of consciousness can be (96).

Thus inebriated in adoration, Bloom almost completely ignores the enigma at the core of Hamlet’s personality which has confounded and infuriated critics for centuries: Yes, Hamlet is a devilishly clever young man, full of all sorts of wonderful words. But he is also cruel, capricious, and ditheringly indecisive. Indeed, the very expression “playing Hamlet” is a synonym for indecisiveness.

No one could seriously question Bloom’s assertion that Hamlet is a font of fabulous words. But if, as D. H. Lawrence argues, the moral function of art is paramount, then there is no escaping the fact that Hamlet is an abject failure as a man. If Hamlet had simply killed Claudius (the man who murdered Hamlet’s father), so much senseless death and mayhem could have been avoided. The Polonius family—who, whatever their faults, were decent, loyal and loving human beings—is utterly destroyed due to Hamlet’s vacillating stupidity.

Unlike Hamlet, Laertes has no need to navigate a sea of words in order to determine the right course of action. Hamlet himself speaks of Laertes as a “great gentleman,” and Hamlet admires the “bravery of his grief.” Furthermore, the similarity of their plight is not lost on Hamlet, who says of Laertes, “by the image of my cause, I see/The portraiture of his.”

Yet Harold Bloom will have none of it: “Laertes is too absurdly slight to be Hamlet’s ‘second self,’ as many critics aver” (104).

Along with Laertes, the other heroic figure in Hamlet is Horatio. According to Hamlet, Horatio is

A man that fortune’s buffets and rewards
Hast ta’en with equal thanks: and blest are those
Whose blood and judgement are so well commedled
That they are not a pipe for fortune’s finger
To sound what stop she please. Give me that man
That is not passion’s slave, and I will wear him
In my heart’s core, ay, in my heart of heart,
As i do thee.

Again, Bloom is unwilling to listen, not even to Hamlet:

Though critics have asserted that Hamlet finds qualities in Horatio that are absent from himself, they are plainly mistaken. Hamlet is so various that he contains every quality, while Horatio, totally colorless, has none to speak of (15).

Alan Lerner jested that “The French don’t care what they do actually/As long as they pronounce it properly.” Similarly, Harold Bloom doesn’t care what Hamlet does, actually—whom he berates, whom he stabs, whom he has murdered, whom he brutishly badgers to the point of suicide, how many ways he contradicts himself, how many people die for his indecisiveness—as long as Hamlet collocates his lovely words better than anyone else.

by Richard W. Bray

Status Update

December 18, 2010

Status Update

My sister met
A man online
Who showed up at her place
With choc-o-lates and roses
And my boyfriend’s face

Status update:
You’re deleted
I scrubbed my profile clean
You’re a liar and a cheater
And a lousy human being

Block all further access
Gonna find
Somebody new
A guy who ain’t too flirty
Don’t need no skeevy dog like you

I left him for
Five minutes
Alone with my best friend
He asked her for her number
And a hundred bucks to spend

Status update:
You’re deleted
I scrubbed my profile clean
You’re a liar and a cheater
And a lousy human being

Block all further Access
Gonna find
Somebody new
A guy who ain’t too flirty
Don’t need no skeevy dog like you

I hear his phones
‘Aringing when he’s
On the other line
Who are all these women
Calling all the time?

Status update:
You’re deleted
I scrubbed my profile clean
You’re a liar and a cheater
And a lousy human being

Block all further Access
Gonna find
Somebody new
A guy who ain’t too flirty
Don’t need no skeevy dog like you

I’m so sad
And lonesome
What’s a girl to do?
I just need a decent guy
Who’s rich and tall and handsome too

Status update:
You’re deleted
I scrubbed my profile clean
You’re a liar and a cheater
And a lousy human being

Block all further access
Gonna find
Somebody new
A guy who ain’t too flirty
Don’t need no skeevy dog like you

by Richard W. Bray

Some Thoughts on On Writing

August 30, 2010
Tabitha and Stephen King

Some Thoughts on On Writing

I was built with a love of the night and the unquiet coffin, that’s all. If you disapprove, I only shrug my shoulders. It’s what I have.

Stephen King (158)

Kurt Vonnegut joked that critics often mistake the Science Fiction genre for a urinal. But Science Fiction is certainly several notches above Horror in the Hierarchy of Serious Literature. Science Fiction writers such as H. G. Wells, Ursula Le Guin and Ray Bradbury are taken seriously by Serious Literary Types. With the notable exception of Edgar Alan Poe, however, Horror writers rarely receive such literary love.

Stephen King is the undisputed master of a genre which barely elicits as much respect as Romance Novels in the Academy and among Serious Critics. Although we wouldn’t expect someone who has enough money to buy up and pulp every edition of every negative review he has ever received to worry about such things, Stephen King is obviously irked by critics who look down their noses at a particular type of literature. (King is also irked by inelegant adverbs, and he would probably deem that “obviously” superfluous.)

King’s passionate defense of Raymond Chandler’s hard boiled mysteries tells us a lot about how he sees his own detractors:

a good deal of literary criticism serves only to reinforce a caste system which is as old as the intellectual snobbery which nurtured it. Raymond Chandler may be recognized now as an important figure in twentieth-century American literature, an early voice describing the anomie of urban life in the years after World War II, but there are plenty of critics who will reject such a judgement out of hand. He’s a hack! they cry indignantly. A hack with pretensions! The worst kind! The kind who thinks he can pass for one of us (143).

When King was in eighth grade, he wrote, published and sold his first bestseller, a novelization of the Roger Corman movie The Pit and the Pendulum. King made the mistake of selling his work at school. The book was confiscated and Stephen was brought before the authorities, his principal Miss Hisler, who accused the young writer of wasting his talent by writing “junk.” This left a wound which took years to heal, if it ever really did:

I was ashamed. I have spent a good many years since–too many, I think–being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction and poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it (50).

Knowing how much Americans love a good Horatio Alger Story, King is quick to point out his humble origins. He explains how he and his brother

lived an odd, herky-jerky childhood, raised by a single parent who moved around a lot in my earliest years….Perhaps she was only chasing our father, who piled up all sorts of bills and then did a runout when I was two and my brother David was four (17).

On Writing is a testament to the virtues of hard work. Before achieving astounding success with his first published novel Carrie, King worked various demanding manual labor jobs, including a stint at an industrial laundry where “maggots would try to crawl up your arms as you loaded the washers” (68). King’s commitment to the American Work Ethic was already evident in his teenage years:

During my final weeks at Lisbon High, my schedule looked like this: up at seven, off to school at seven thirty, last bell at two o’clock, punch in on the third floor at Worumbo at 2:58, bag loose fabric for eight hours, punch out at 11:02, get home around at quarter to twelve, eat a bowl of cereal, fall into bed, get up the next morning, do it all again (59).

King suggests that the good work habits he developed in order to surmount his humble origins have served him well as a writer because

while it is impossible to make a competent writer out of a bad writer, and while it is equally impossible to make a great writer out of a good one, it is possible, with lots of hard work, dedication and timely help, to make a good writer out of a merely competent one (142).

Above all, On Writing is a Love Story. When asked how he was able to achieve such a remarkable output–forty-nine novels, including such tomes as IT, which is suitable for bench pressing–King says that the two keys were staying healthy (up until he had an accident which actually occrred while he was writing this memoir) and maintaining “a stable relationship with a self-reliant woman who takes zero shit from me or anyone else has made the continuity of my working life possible” (155).

Steven King met his wife Tabitha when they were undergraduates at the University of Maine. As King sees it

“Writing is a lonely job. Having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference. They don’t have to make speeches. Just believing is usually enough”(74).

In addition to being his life partner and “ideal reader,” Tabitha was also responsible for the major break of King’s career when she rescued the first draft of the novel Carrie from a wastebasket and convinced him to finish the story:

Tabby had the pages. She’d spied them while emptying my wastebasket, had shaken the cigarette ashes off the crumpled balls of paper, smoothed them out, and sat down to read them. She wanted me to go on with it, she said. She wanted to know the rest of the story” (77).

The rest, as they say, is publishing History.

Love literally saved King’s life when his wife and children decided they could no longer tolerate his ferocious addictions. So they staged an intervention wherein Tabby unloaded:

a trashbag full of stuff from my office out on the rug: beercans, cigarette butts, cocaine in gram bottles and cocaine in plastic Baggies, coke spoons caked with snot and blood, Valium, Xanax, bottles of Robitussin cough syrup and NyQuil cold medicine, even bottles of mouthwash (97).

King’s stubbornly succumbed only when the mother of his children laid down the law: “Tabby said I had my choice: I could get help at the rehab or I could get the hell out of the house” (97).

The bottle (and other addictions) has done damage to an extremely high percentage of American writers. But King recognizes that “Life isn’t a support-system for art. It’s the other way around” (101). King wisely (another superfluous adverb) refutiates what he calls the Hemingway Defense, which some employ in order to justify the ways if the dipsomaniacal scrivener:

I am a very sensitive fellow, but I am also a man, and real men don’t give into their sensitivities. Only sissy-men do that. Therefore I drink. How else can I face the existential horror of it all and continue to work? Besides, come on, I can handle it. A real man always can (94).

(As usual, I left out so much. Particularly the author’s witty and clever musings on the craft of writing which alone are worth the price of admission.)

I’ll leave the last word to Mr. King, describing his feelings for Tabitha:

“Our marriage has outlasted all of the world’s leaders except Castro, and if we keep talking, arguing, making love, and dancing to the Romones–gabba-gabba-hey–it’ll probably keep working” (61).

by Richard W. Bray

My Funny Farm

July 13, 2010

Monkey Driver

My Funny Farm

My monkey makes my mother mad
He also aggravates my dad
He took his car the other day
And drove it to the Hudson Bay

My kitty cat is kooky too
He likes to strut down to the zoo
And tell the tigers to all stand back
If they don’t want to get attacked

I have a hamster named Houdini
And though he is rather teeny
He’ll quickly pick a thousand locks
You could not hold him in Fort Knox

My kangaroo’s a real joker
Up all night playing poker
His friends come to destroy the house
I think I shoulda’ got a mouse

I got a hippo last July
He really is one swell guy
Everything he does is super
I got a giant pooper scooper

Living on this funny farm
I know my pets don’t mean no harm
But both my parents moved away
And no one wants to come and play

by Richard W. Bray

Myrtle Myers

July 11, 2010

bad seed

Myrtle Myers

Myrtle Myers bought some pliers
At the hardware store
She took them home and all alone
She broke down the door

The next day she found a way
To make the toilet flood
She took a wrench from daddy’s bench
And made a great big thud

Unperturbed, her mother purred
“Well, girls they will be girls
All this rage is just a stage
She has such darling curls”

Then Myrtle took an evil look
At her mother’s dress
It made her think and with some ink
She made a lovely mess

Yet with rage unassauged
She shaved her sister’s head
With kerosene and gasoline
She burned her brother’s bed

Undistressed, her father guessed
“It’s just a child at play
They’re just jealous, those who tell us
To have her put away”

Her parents planned a party grand
Just to celebrate
Her twelfth birthday, and by the way
Myrtle showed up late

No girls nor boys bearing toys
Decided to attend
Although assured the girl was cured
They feared their lives might end

As her family huddled, scared and befuddled
By her piercing stare
Myrtle growled and then she howled
“I publicly declare

“This can’t be true! What did you do
To make them stay away?
You’ll all be blue and live to rue
This catastrophic day!”

Myrtle made a bomb that day
Intending to destroy
Her own home town and miles around
And every girl and boy

But in her hurry, she forgot to scurry
Away from her invention
She’s gone away, I’m sad to say
Results of ill intention

Her parents pleaded all she needed
Was love and understanding
And though it’s true that we all do
Life is more demanding

It takes affection to give direction
And most kids do not mind
Those restrictions and prohibitions
Which seem to some unkind

by Richard W. Bray

Come Home, America

June 23, 2010

Come Home, America

We’re crossing seas in search of dragons
And other beasts to slay
Come home, America
Time to discover our own way

Solving other people’s problems
Is an errand meant for fools
Come home, America
It ain’t our job to make the rules

Dropping drones on wedding parties
Ain’t the best way to make friends
Come home, America
We have better gifts to send

Puffy, pasty pundits send
Our youngsters off to die
Come home, America
Before our nation is bled dry

We’re blowing up other countries
Instead of fixing up our own
Come home, America
Time to cast away the stones

We have so much to offer
But we ain’t the world’s cop
Come home, America
This madness has to stop

Decline and dissolution
Don’t have to be our fate
Come home, America
I hope it’s not too late

by Richard W. Bray

Normal

May 6, 2010

Normal

Life is never easy for young Gladys P. O’Shay
And it’s a shilly-shally world that confronts her every day
Cuz’ the planet that she lives on is insane in every way

When she sits down for breakfast wanting bacon, eggs and toast
Her brothers laugh out loud as they chomp down weasel roast
“Why can’t you just be normal like the rest of us?” They boast

Gladys in an outcast and a troublemaker too
And she is the only person in the town of Whackadoo
Who considers it a gaffe to wear her socks outside her shoes

Daily she’s rebuffed by her school’s annoying sentry
For she is the only kid at Lizzie Borden Elementary
Who prefers doors to windows as the proper point of entry

In a world where scholars are less honored than magicians
Gladys is an outcast for eschewing all traditions
Her town has fifty-seven warlocks and only three physicians

Everyone agrees the sun is looking for a bride
So when it’s time for recess and the kids all go outside
Gladys is the only girl who won’t run off and hide

She leaves herself exposed by lying in the grass
And the people are convinced that she’s a crazy little lass
For thinking that the monster’s just a giant ball of gas

All her friends and neighbors think that Gladys is a kook
And her culinary habits trigger strenuous rebuke
For she refuses kitty brains and won’t touch puppy puke

So if you feel like you’re the one who doesn’t quite belong
And everything you do and say seems to come out wrong
Perhaps there is a galaxy where you would get along

by Richard W. Bray

Holden Caulfield–Whimpering Little Phony

April 8, 2010

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzcatcher

Holden Caulfield–Whimpering Little Phony


Holden Caulfield endeared himself to the anti-socializers of all ages because he went right into the lion’s cage–all those phonies!–without liking anything of what he relentlessly described.

Alfred Kazin‘s America (250)

As Erik Erikson noted, adolescents are often deeply concerned with notions of identity. This preoccupation commonly manifests itself in decisions teens make regarding music and fashion. For many young people, life is a constant struggle to remain ahead of the curve, rejecting bands and fashions they have discovered as soon as they become popular. Authenticity is a key component of this phenomenon, as adolescents of all ages feel so betrayed when a band that they like “sells out” by making any sort of changes in their music or overall presentation which might enable them to attract a larger audience. (Death or glory becomes just another story)

The adolescent quest for authenticity has no greater (and certainly no more enduring) spokesman than Holden Caulfield, J.D. Salinger’s incessantly complaining hero from The Catcher in the Rye. For generations, this clarion castigator of the Great Phoniness of it All has attracted “armies of young people who gratefully see themselves in The Catcher in the Rye” (Kazin 248). What often goes unheeded by Caulfield’s admirers (though certainly not by Caulfield himself) is the fact that he is just as dishonest and insincere as all the phonies he admonishes throughout his brief sojourn back to the mean streets of Manhattan.

For the soon-to-be-institutionalized Holden Caulfield, the game of life has been intentionally rigged against him:

Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side where all the hot-shots are, then it’s a game all right–I’ll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where there aren’t any hot-shots, then what’s a game about it? Nothing. No game (12-13).


This is a peculiar outlook for someone as wellborn as Caulfield
. Most of his contemporaries would consider Holden Caulfield–with his wealthy parents who send him to the finest schools and supply him with ample spending money–to be one of the hot-shots. Caulfield’s acute egocentrism inhibits him from stepping outside of his rather comfortable situation long enough to ponder how relatively fortunate he is.

For almost three-hundred pages, this whining, self-absorbed narcissist goes on and on about everyone else’s problems. (Nothing is ever really Holden’s fault. He can’t help the fact that the world is overpopulated with a bunch of goddam phonies).

One of the biggest reasons I left Elkton Hills was because I was surrounded by phonies….For instance, they had this headmaster, Mr. Haas, that was one of the phoniest bastards I ever saw in my life (19).

And later when his kid sister admonishes Holden for dropping out of yet another school, he whines:

“Oh, God, Phoebe, don’t ask me that. I’m sick of everybody asking me that,” I said. “A million reasons why. It was one of the worst schools I ever went to. It was full of phonies” (217).

But the most interesting thing about Caulfield is that he is quick to point out that he’s just as much of a hypocrite as anyone. (Oddly, this doesn’t seem to deter the legions of young people who find him so compelling.)

Caulfield freely admits that he’s “the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life” (22). When a potential date asks Holden if he is “from Princeton,” he replies, “Well, approximately” (84). And when a nice old lady tells him that Pencey is a “very good school,” he declines to demur. “Even if I’d wanted to, I wouldn’t have had the strength to straighten her out” (260). So there’s one loophole: it’s only ok to be a hypocrite when your name is Holden Caulfield

When Holden strikes up a conversation on a train with a woman he describes as “about forty or forty-five, but she was very good-looking,” he decides against telling her the truth about her son Ernie, “Who was doubtless the biggest bastard that ever went to Pencey, in the whole crumby history of the school” (70, 71). Caulfield freely admits that he “really started chucking the old crap around”( 73). His excuse for this supreme act of phoniness: “The thing is, though, I liked old Murrow’s mother.” (72).

But Caulfield is less honest with himself when he makes up a lie to get away from the almost preternaturally annoying Lillian and her “Navy guy” boyfriend: “After I told her I had to meet someone, I didn’t have any goddam choice except to [leave]…People are always ruining it for you” (114).

But nobody forced Caulfield to say he “had to meet someone.” It was merely the most expedient way to rid himself of unwanted company. He could have simply told the couple the truth, that he didn’t want to sit with them, but that would have been unkind. So he chooses to blame them for the fact that he is just as phony as anyone else in the story.

But I don’t find Caulfield’s hypocrisy nearly so annoying as his perpetual complaining. (I can hear you thinking, “Relax, he’s just a fictional character” or “Don’t you realize that the dude is in a mental hospital?”) Fictional or otherwise, I have a far greater tolerance for guys who choose a life of quiet desperation than those who opt for the whimpering variety. This is probably because I was raised to believe that men who complain too much just aren’t Scandinavian enough.

by Richard W. Bray

Animal Antics

October 21, 2009

Animal Antics

Ricky Reynoso rented a rhino
And traveled around and around
He rode from Sudan out to Siam
But lately he cannot be found

Tina Taylor Teased a Tiger
That wasn’t so smart to do
Tina is currently being digested
Down at your local zoo

Bradley Branson bribed a bear
In hopes to find some honey
But all he got was a thousand stings
And now he’s out of money.

Carl kicked a kangaroo
He kicked so hard he lost his shoe
When it kicked back he was more than blue
Because he landed in Timbuktu

Stanley Seahorn selected a snail
As his own role model
He doesn’t like to do his chores
He just likes to dawdle

Pedro pushed a porcupine
When it got in his way
Now he’s pulling out its spines
All the livelong day

Cheri shouldn’t have shoved that shark
But she was in a hurry
She did not make it home by dark
I think it’s time to worry

Candice kissed a crocodile
To see if she could make it smile
Then she ran for over a mile
It only took a little while

Sandy sat on seven skunks
He’s really not a thinker
I barely sniffed and got a whiff
Because he’s such a stinker

by Richard W. Bray

The “Oriental Mind”: E. M. Forster’s Fatuous Caricatures of Indians in A Passage to India (Part 2)

September 23, 2009

The “Oriental Mind”: E. M. Forster’s Fatuous
Caricatures of Indians in A Passage to India

Somehow, E. M. Forster, who detested imperialism, falls into this trap. The Indian characters in A Passage to India are all exotic. They are constitutionally incapable of acting like mature, honest and rational creatures. Dr. Aziz, the most sympathetic and well-developed of Forster’s Indians, is unable to appreciate the value of honesty. On the day of the incident in the Marabar caves he tells “a great many lies.” (175) He does not lie with malicious intent, he simply comes from a culture which puts no premium on honesty. He is, therefore, someone who has “no sense of evidence.” (302) Deeds which would be described as evidence of hypocrisy when performed by an Englishman are written off as the result of a mysterious culture so foreign as to defy any type of human universalism. Without a hint of irony the narrator declares of the Indians: “What they said and what they felt were…seldom the same.” (120) Aziz is not being a snoop when he reads Fielding’s mail because “The sanctity of private correspondence had never been ratified in the East” (344) .

Yet there is no question that Forster personally preferred the company of Indians to Anglo-Indians. In fact, he could hardly contain his contempt for the latter. When accused of being unfair to the Anglo-Indians Forster responded, “how can I ever like them when I happen to like the Indians and they don’t” (Das 14). With the exception of Fielding, none of the British in the novel could be described as sympathetic characters, and Fielding utterly rejects the Anglo-Indian creed. Many of the Anglo-Indians in A Passage to India are well-rounded, but the colonists represent the most wretched traits of the English temperament. As Benita Parry observes, “by temperament and choice the Anglo-Indians are outsiders, hostile to India whether it be mosques, cave or temple, participating in none, understanding none, resenting all” (Parry, Delusions, 279).

In his efforts to portray the Indians as morally superior to their colonists, Forster unwittingly practices Orientalism by creating characters whose thinking and motivation are alien from the Anglo-Indians. By imagining India as a people and a nation which might represent the antithesis of the cold-hearted, hypocritical, rapacious Anglo-Indians Forster inadvertently creates natives who, at best, can only be seen as half human. Ironically, in this attempt to “humanize” the Indians vis-a-vis their conquerors, Forster has truncated their humanity. Forster’s tendency to oversimplify his Indian characters is also a function of the philosophical struggle which permeates all of his fiction–the quest to find transcendence without God (a monumentally frustrating aspiration). Abdul R. JanMohamed observes:

The metaphysical preoccupation of A Passage to India is a culmination of problems that Forster had been examining throughout his work, and his decision to cast his concerns in terms of Indian philosophy is innocent and logical. But the narrative decision to turn India into a metaphysical protagonist inherently antithetical to Western liberal humanism probably stems from larger cultural differences, the machinery of which is similar to that of the manichean allegory (JanMohamed 96).

As Forster, the renowned humanist, attempts to make his Indians more sympathetic than their evil colonizers, he diminishes them into hideous caricatures. There are instances when it would be difficult to discern his depictions of Indians from those of an overtly racist apologist for Imperialism such as Kipling. Forster’s Indians are not merely prone to mysticism, but incapable of rational thought. Even Aziz, a man of science educated in the Western tradition, is unable to judge his friend Fielding rationally. This is because “(S)uspicion in the Oriental is a sort of malignant tumor, a mental malady, that makes him self-conscious and unfriendly suddenly; he trusts and mistrusts at the same time in a way that the Westerner cannot comprehend” (311). Why must suspicion, or, for that matter, any other normal human emotion, manifest itself differently in the person of an Indian than it would in an Englishman? The passage suggests that this difference in processing emotions is somehow racially based.

We would expect a westernized Indian like Aziz to be torn between two cultures. But he is not nearly so complex; he is western only in manner. His secularism is merely an affectation and therefore no match for an ancient instinctual mysticism. When his children exhibit idolatrous behavior we see how superficial his rationalism is: “He didn’t want them to grow up superstitious, so he rebuked them, and they answered yes, father, for they were well brought up, but, like himself, they were impervious to argument” (332).

But Aziz is not simply an irrational mystic–he is a childlike, fatuous creature who would certainly qualify for several of Benita Parry’s synonyms for exotic. By constantly fretting about whether his guests are well cared for he confirms the narrator’s conclusion that “(L)ike most Orientals, Aziz overrated hospitality, mistaking it for intimacy, and not seeing that it was tainted with the sense of possession.” (157) So, despite substantial westernization, Aziz, as a representative of his race, is constitutionally incapable of understanding something that would be obvious to any mature Westerner. Further evidence of his puerility is demonstrated when, in response to the death of Mrs. Moore “he wept like a child and ordered his three children to weep also.” (290) Aziz is unable to handle his emotions in a manly way, the way Forster’s alter ego Fielding would. When Fielding tries to speak intimately with Aziz about the strain in their relationship, he terminates the conversation with the ludicrous declaration “I say, shall we go pour water on to Mohammed Latif’s face. He is so funny when this is done to him” (279).

Dr. Aziz, whose behavior hovers between immaturity foolishness, is someone an intelligent reader might imagine to exist. Godbole, on the other hand, is a crepuscular creation who personifies a contempt for Hinduism which Forster made no effort to conceal. Forster’s letters regarding the Gokul Ashtami Festival are “extremely condescending” (Crews 153).
I cannot see the point in this, or rather in what it differs from ordinary mundane intoxication. I suppose that if you believe your drunkenness proceeds from God it becomes more enjoyable….I don’t think I can describe it better than this, and it is difficult to make vivid what seems so fatuous. (Hill, 160-61).

If Forster means to present India as a “metaphysical protagonist,” as JanMohamed argues, then Dr. Aziz and Dr. Godbole obviously represent the relative regard Forster had for their respective faiths. In contrast to his disdainful reaction to Hinduism, Forster was “aesthetically gratified by a religion that is not grossly anthropomorphic” (Crews 152). Indeed, his frustration with the confusion and inconsistency of Hinduism heightened his appreciation for the moral absolutism of a monotheistic religion.

…just as I thought nothing could be more beautiful a muezzin with a most glorious voice gave the evening call of prayer from a mosque. “There is no God but God.” I do like Islam, though I have come through hinduism to discover it. After all the mess and profusion and confusion Gokul Ashtami, where nothing ever stopped or need ever have begun, it was like standing on a mountain. (Hill, 193)

As the living embodiment of this “mess and profusion and confusion,” Dr. Godbole at best can only be described as a hideous caricature of a Hindu. He is a rambling mass of riddles and non sequiturs who frustrates Fielding by arguing that all people are equally responsible for whatever took place at the Marabar Caves. In contrast to Aziz who has “no sense of evidence” Godbole has no conception of reality. Nothing Godbole says is of value to the Westerner because he “had never been known to tell anyone anything.” (342) His pointless verbosity which never “stopped or need have ever begun” ridicules the philosophical underpinnings of Hinduism. Forster is not restrained in his mockery of Hinduism, as illustrated by the comment, “Godbole’s conversations frequently culminated in a cow.” (198)

While in India E. M. Forster continued to struggle to make meaning out of his life. This endeavor was complicated by a condition which is the antithesis of invincible ignorance. An inveterate secularist, Forster nonetheless yearned for some type of spiritual union. He was able to find some comfort in his personal relationships with individual Indians, but his personal Passage to India was frustrated by the unfortunate reality that England and India (and therefore, Englishmen and Indians) are not polar opposites.

By some strange alchemy of literature, Forester’s art is not damaged by this confusion. One might even argue that he achieves aesthetic harmony by oversimplifying his Indians. (A similar point can be made regarding his female creations.) However, that which is artistically appealing can be socially disastrous. By degrading a people who had been abused and exploited by his countrymen for centuries, Forster exposes another “peril of humanism.” Art cannot be justified merely for its own sake.

by Richard W. Bray

Works Cited

Crews, Frederick. The Perils of Humanism. Princeton: Princeton
U P, 1962.
Das, G.K. “`A Passage to India’: A Socio-historical Study,”
Passage to India: Essays in Interpretation. Ed. John
Beer. Totowa, NJ: Barnes & Noble, 1986. 1-15.
Forster, E.M. A Passage to India. 1924. San Diego: Harcourt,
Brace, 1984.
_____. The Hill of Devi. New York: Harcourt, Brace, 1953.
JanMohamed, Abdul R. “The Economy of Manichean Allegory: The
Function of Racial Difference in Colonial Literature,” Race,
Writing and Difference. Ed. Henry Louis Gates, Jr.
Chicago: U of Chicago P. 78-106.
Parry, Benita. Delusions and Discoveries Studies on India in the
British Imagination. Berkeley: U of California P, 1972.
_____. “The Politics of Representation in `A Passage to India'”, A Passage to India: Essays in Interpretation. Ed. John
Beer. Totowa, NJ: Barnes & Noble, 1986. 27-43.
Said, Edward. Orientalism. New York: Pantheon Books, 1978.

Turning up my music and my metaphors

September 5, 2026


I found out something, Baby
The world already knew
I found out something, Baby
There's no one else like you

Girl when I saw you
It fell into place
Everything's as clear
As the smile on your face


Trimming my sails
And dropping my oars
Turning up my music
And my metaphors

Girl when I saw you
It fell into place
Everything's as clear
As the smile on your face

Been nursing my wounds
Since my last rodeo
I'm ready for a tumble
But I ain't letting go

Girl when I saw you
It fell into place
Everything's as clear
As the smile on your face


by Richard W. Bray

Unicorns and Green Gorillas

August 12, 2026

Sunspots, sarsaparilla
Laughter, sunset villas
Unicorns and green gorillas

Cynical people think sincerity's a pose
A cactus is a cactus
A rose is a rose


Puffy cloudy billows
Playful peccadillos
Perfume on a pillow

Cynical people think that love is a lie
Blaming the bucket
When the well runs dry


Critters chillin' Cali
Green and yellow valleys
Creepers cruisin' alleys

Cynical people shut their eyes real tight
The whole world sparkles
But they can't see the light

by Richard W. Bray

I guess I thought I knew things

July 31, 2026


Funny how we view things
Funny how the news stings
Funny how I thought
That you'd be true

Other people do things
I guess I thought I knew things
Now I need some new things to do


Funny how I miss things
All those me and you things
Funny how I thought
That you'd be true

Other people do things
I guess I thought I knew things
Now I need some new things to do


by Richard W. Bray

Choosing Freedom Over You

July 21, 2026


Regrets
Keeping my cheeks wet
Lost another bet
Choosing freedom over you

They say
The Devil doesn't play
When the clouds are turning gray
He always gets his due

Someday
When lovin comes my way
I'll have the sense to stay
Put away my rambling shoes

Until
I finally get my fill
Of stumbling stupid up a hill
I'll build a bunker out of blue

Regrets
Paying off my debts
Trying to forget
Choosing freedom over you

by Richard W. Bray

Deplorable UK

July 17, 2026


In the land of Shakespeare
Where they once ruled the seas
They put people in jail for obnoxious ideas

They think freedom of speech
Is an awful delusion
The vermin have no right to spread their confusion?

They won't tolerate
Any mindless defiance
From cretins who refuse to believe in The Science

Perriwigged peacocks
Keep the people at bay
They are the very model of decline and decay

If you don't trust the experts
Get out of their way
They simply won't stand for a deplorable UK

by Richard W. Bray

So many goodbyes to so many good friends

July 9, 2026

Well here’s another goodbye to another good friend
Jagger-Richards, Before They Make Me Run

I heard you were sober
Then I heard you were gone
A hardworking man
Now you're just a sad song

You had plenty of talent
Humor and charm
Checked out of this world
With a spike in your arm

Doctor said the sclerosis
Was taking its toll
Nothing but the bottle
Ever made you feel whole

You were barely 21
When you faded away
Another bloody car crash
Another crazy day

Flowers and florsheims
Condolences to send
So many goodbyes
To so many good friends

by Richard W. Bray

Cuckoo for the Puff

July 3, 2026

Every day is fry day
Dazing in the haze
Chronic is her tonic
She loves her hippy ways

She’s cuckoo for the puff
That sticky stinky stuff
She’ll never get enough
She’s cuckoo for the puff

She’s never gonna cope
Without an eighth of dope
The Nirvana she has found
Is growing in the ground

She’s cuckoo for the puff
That sticky stinky stuff
She’ll never get enough
She’s cuckoo for the puff


Blissful waves of blasting
Unplugging from it all
She’d rather hug a tree
Than take another call

She’s cuckoo for the puff
That sticky stinky stuff
She’ll never get enough
She’s cuckoo for the puff


by Richard W. Bray