Archive for October, 2011

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread and Tivo (by Mia)

October 28, 2011


Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread


* 1 cup sugar
* 1 cup canned pumpkin
* 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
* 1/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt
* 2 large egg whites
* 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
* 1 tsp ground cinnamon
* 3/4 tsp salt
* 1/2 tsp baking soda
* 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
* cooking spray


* Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

* Combine first 5 ingredients in a large bowl, and stir well. In a medium bowl, combine flour, cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. Add flour mixture to pumpkin mixture, stirring just until moist. Stir in chocolate chips.

* Spoon batter into a loaf pan coated with cooking spray. Bake for 45-50 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes in pan, then remove. Cool completely on wire rack. Makes 16 slices.

**To make it even healthier, try Splenda instead of sugar! I didn’t want to try it for the first time making it, but the next time I make it I’m going to try this to see how it compares!


October 22, 2011

A face devoid of love or grace,
A hateful, hard, successful face,


I’ve studied all one needs to know ‘bout every little thing
I’ve scoured the biographies of philosophes and kings
I’ve meditated countless hours on all that I have learned
And I’ve concluded modestly that clearly I have earned
The right to state objectively that all I would proclaim
Is exactly what should be, and wouldn’t it be a shame
If Lilliputian intellects and putrid second-raters
Or lily-livered losers and unmanly imitators
Would dare to think that they possess grit and gut and gall
To interrupt my project for the benefit of all?

Undermined by cowards and their miniscule bereavements
Who could not comprehend the scope of my achievement
Like pesky little gnats, they hindered my attention
Allowing mediocrities to cancel my ascension
These trifling mental midgets who dared to halt my plans
Don’t deserve to share the planet with a real fighting man
They can analyze the metrics until the end of time
And never comprehend the dimensions of their crime
When assessing this fiasco, please do not involve me
For I have every confidence that history will absolve me

by Richard W. Bray

The Road

October 15, 2011

The Road

road runs uphill
every day
you go out there
every day
logging miles to earn your meals

road runs uphill
every day
if you don’t struggle
every day
you’re probably spinning wheels

road runs uphill
every day
a tilted treadmill
all the way
washing clothes and scraping grills

road runs uphill
every day
and if you stop
to look away
you might end up taking a spill

road runs uphill
every day
so dance your song
all the way
and get your fill before you pay the bill

by Richard W. Bray

The Easy Way

October 8, 2011

The Easy Way

My friend Sal looks really great
From fifteen years of lifting weight
I got buff the easy way
Photoshop in just one day

Credit cards are awfully nice
Until you have to pay the price
One day they hauled my stuff away
For buying things the easy way

My septic tank began to spew
I fixed it with some super glue
Then it burst one smelly day
The perils of the easy way

When it got too trashed for play
I packed up and moved away
Ain’t it always like I say?
Why not try the easy way?

Manual labor is awfully hard
And why should I clean my new yard?
Why not try the easy way?
And burn my troubles all away

Things don’t always go as planned
That little fire got out of hand
The fire chief hauled me away
For doing things the easy way

by Richard W. Bray

sports shorts

October 1, 2011

sports shorts

Serve and volley and attack
Whack that ball, I’ll whack it back
I’m about to bust my spleen
The score is only Love-fifteen

My ball’s brown and your ball’s green
Whydya’ hafta’ be so mean?
You just knocked my ball away
Nice guys just shouldn’t play croquet

Run and run and kick the ball
Run some more and take a fall
They kick your knees, they kick your shin
You still go out and run again

Spin and aim and throw and grunt
Putting shot is quite a stunt
But when the shot put’s in the air
Folks around had best beware

Red lines, blue lines guys with sticks
And pucks that feel as hard as bricks
But I can barely tie my skates
A hockey star won’t be my fate

That tether-ball hangs from a rope
It makes me feel like such a dope
I jump and jump but still can’t cope
At three foot two there’s just no hope

by Richard W. Bray