Posts Tagged ‘Alcoholism’

The Decency to Die

September 21, 2018

Everything I ever wanted
Showed up and it was you
Then you sighed and said
That you had other things to do…

I found myself a hole
And I filled my guts with rye
But I didn’t have
The decency to die

I soaked up so much hurtin
And I drank my soul dry
But I didn’t have
The decency to die

I fought with every fool
Who had a drink to buy
But I didn’t have
The decency to die

Puking blood and squirting mud
And breathing to be high
But I didn’t have
The decency to die

Today they see me healthy
They smile and wonder why
He didn’t have
The decency to die

by Richard W. Bray

In Defence of Mum and Dad (A Rebuttal to This Be The Verse)

March 24, 2018

Philip Larkin

You were angry
   And somewhat nuts
They clothed your frame
   And fed your guts

Without them
   There’s no Aubade
Your masterpiece
   Denying God

You were revered
   And somewhat famous
Though not as rich
   As Kingsley Amis

They did their best
   You drank your smell
It’s not their fault
   You lived your hell

by Richard W. Bray

sweet and pure

February 6, 2018

Nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’
Billy Preston

There ain’t a woman who can see
All the love inside of me

Stupid two-bit loser town
Bitches try to bring me down

I need a woman sweet and pure
I’ll find my truth inside of her

I spend my cash and act a clown
Bitches try to bring me down

A million things that I could be
If only she believed in me

I could drink until I drown
Bitches try to bring me down

by Richard W. Bray

daddy go bye bye

January 24, 2018

took all the pennies
saving in my jar
daddy go bye bye in a car

mama say daddy
drinking in a bar
daddy go bye bye in a car

daddy took his things
and drove real far
daddy go bye bye in a car

daddy real mad
dont love us anymore
daddy go bye bye in a car

by Richard W. Bray

my dirty draggled brain

October 7, 2017

Funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

Stephen Bruton and Gary Nicholson

didn’t know I was asleep
till I woke up in this cell
with my dirty draggled brain
and a brand-new coat of smell

had a special girl who loved me
she tried to get me well
I had happiness and comfort
till I blew it all to hell

I took a couple drinks
didn’t have a care
then I stepped right off a cliff
and tried to dance on air

the bottle is my sweetheart
we’re such a lovely pair
but she don’t love me when I wake up
with vomit in my hair

didn’t know I was asleep
till I woke up in this cell
with my dirty draggled brain
and a brand-new coat of smell

by Richard W. Bray

Shrug

July 23, 2017

I chased annihilation
In a thousand roadside bars
Then I pulled myself together
And discovered who you are

Surprised to see me happy?
Disappointed I’m alive?
Were you quietly applauding
My inevitable demise?

A girl who never liked me
Said, “Hello” and wished me well
Disappointment in her voice said
“I’m amazed you’re not in hell”

Surprised to see me happy?
Disappointed I’m alive?
Were you quietly applauding
My inevitable demise?

Chastise and condemn
And tell yourself you’re blessed
I can only shrug:
I’m wishing everyone the best

Surprised to see me happy?
Disappointed I’m alive?
Were you quietly applauding
My inevitable demise?

by Richard W. Bray

Long List of Reasons

March 4, 2017

zzprison

I never made it home
To love you like I should
Got a long list of reasons
But none of ’em are good

I stopped to check the score
I had money on the game
I was headed out the door
When my appetizers came

I was feeling kinda lucky
My dice were getting hot
Some dude from Kentucky
Was lining up the shots

I was scared I’d miss something
I was totally right
It was the same old nothing
That I’m doing every night

I started painting red
Didn’t know when to stop
Got punched in the head
When I spit on a cop

So I’ll spend another night
In this stinky old cell
I never did you right
But I always meant well

I never made it home
To love you like I should
Got a long list of reasons
But none of ’em are good

by Richard W. Bray

The Champion of Ridicule

January 31, 2017

zzbar

In this godforsaken bar
Where all the dregs and outcasts are
I see the saddest drunks
I archive every punk-ass punk
Who’s lowlier than me
Amongst my nightly company

Perching on a barstool
Providing my narration
I’m the champion of ridicule
Dispensing defamation
For a smattering of fools
Inside my favorite location

Laughing at these losers,
These sorry woeful boozers
Is my greatest joy in life–
Once I had the perfect wife
But since she let me be
The laughs are all on me

Perching on a barstool
Providing my narration
I’m the champion of ridicule
Dispensing defamation
For a smattering of fools
Inside my favorite location

by Richard W. Bray

It works until it doesn’t

December 23, 2016

xxdenial

Cigarettes and alcohol and rage
Propel your injured soul
From day to day

It works until it doesn’t
And suddenly you’re old
It works until it doesn’t
Till the center cannot hold

Your back-stabs and your lies
Spur you till you slip
On the blood you left behind

It works until it doesn’t
All the stories that you told
It works until it doesn’t
Till the center cannot hold

Calm won’t still the storm
Surrounded by dysfunction
Deception kept you warm

It works until it doesn’t
And you can’t keep out the cold
It works until it doesn’t
Till the center cannot hold

by Richard W. Bray

didn’t mean to disappoint you when I put the bottle down

November 27, 2016

zzzsober

Didn’t mean to disappoint you
When I put the bottle down

Hordes of losers livin’
Just to watch each other drown

Didn’t mean to disappoint you
When I put the bottle down

Now it makes y’all self-conscious
Just having me around

Didn’t mean to disappoint you
When I put the bottle down

I ain’t got a lot of interest
In the stinky side of town

Didn’t mean to disappoint you
When I put the bottle down

You can look inside a mirror
If you need another clown

Didn’t mean to disappoint you
When I put the bottle down

But I sure as hell ain’t sorry
For the daylight that I found

by Richard W. Bray