Posts Tagged ‘denial’

The truth that looks you in the eye

September 26, 2021

It’s pretty easy to tell when someone is lying to themself.* But you can never know another person’s truth. And discovering your own truth is an enormous task.

The truth that looks you in the eye
“No reason why this has to hurt” 
Tell yourself another lie

Compare yourself to other guys
“My loser friends are so inert”
The truth that looks you in the eye

Bewildered every time you cry
“I’m self-aware – I’m so alert”
Tell yourself another lie 

Jump off a bridge – expect to fly
“Only fools return to dirt?” 
The truth that looks you in the eye

Deception is your alibi
“I’m guiltless, honest and overt”
Tell yourself another lie

Dismiss your actions with a sigh
“I never aimed to disconcert”
The truth that looks you in the eye
Tell yourself another lie

by Richard W. Bray

*For example, when someone says I don’t care, it usually means they care a lot.


September 17, 2021

everything that's right
i discovered long ago
i don't have to listen
cuz i already know

don't need any facts
to show me what's true
my feelings are my guide 
i live my point of view

i don't have any need
for folks who disagree
they're just a bunch of haters
but they'll never hurt me

i need to stay pure
in a very safe space
that's the only cure
for the human race

by Richard W. Bray

public relations

March 8, 2020

You torture your kids
You terrorize your wife
But you’re a
Wonderful man
In your fantasy life

Life isn’t public relations
You can’t erase the hurt
With a well-written statement

Nobody believes
Your silly façade
Not your friends
Not your family
Not even your dog

Life isn’t public relations
Are you fake and insincere
From birth to cremation?

By Richard W. Bray

Neurosis is My Superpower

December 1, 2018

Have you tried
Covering your ears
Closing both your eyes
Ignoring life for years
Repeating soothing lies?

Neurosis is my superpower
So long as I don’t leave the tower

Have you tried
Talk, talk, talking
About everyone you know?
Make it super shocking
And never stop the show

Neurosis is my superpower
Spreading bullshit sweet and sour

Have you tried
Rewiring all the neurons
Dashing through your head?
Tell yourself you’re pure in
The things you did and said

Neurosis is my superpower
Eating lies and shitting flowers

By Richard W. Bray

someone to blame

November 11, 2018

Your life is full of pain
Things you can’t explain
You find someone to blame
So every problem is the same

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

Thinking hurts your head
Everything turns red
You focus your frustration
On a person or a nation

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

Will quiet desperation
Explode in devastation?
Will you drive yourself insane
Hiding from the pain?

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

by Richard W. Bray

hang dang dibble

November 3, 2018

I could be a little bitch
But I’d rather be a man
Ain’t gonna let no woman
Tell me who I am

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
How she’s looking tonight
Or the way she cuts her hair

I’m gonna have another beer
I’m gonna play it where it lays
Till it all disappears
In a honey-colored haze

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
If she found another lover
To take her everywhere

Don’t matter that she loved me
Like nobody ever did
Won’t get hung up on a feeling
Like a stupid little kid

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
Living in the past
Won’t never get you anywhere

By Richard W. Bray

Stinky Thinky Said

August 25, 2018

Stinky Thinky said:
Why did God create me?
Everything is wrong
The universe must hate me

Stinky Thinky said:
She asked me for my name
She probably wants my money
Or maybe she’s insane

Stinky Thinky said:
There’s a spot on my skin
I’m probably gonna die
I’m calling all my kin

Stinky Thinky said:
I’m looking out for you
I don’t tell you things
Cuz it makes you so blue

Stinky Thinky said:
Life is such a shame
So much evil in the world
I take all the blame

Stinky Thinky hides
From all of his actions
By creating a storm
Of noise and distraction

by Richard W. Bray

fifty-seven lies

May 19, 2018

It takes fifty-seven lies
Just to get you outta bed
Lies are like a fungus
That grows inside your head
You need a journal to keep track of
All the lies you ever said

Once upon a time
There was a girl who loved you true
Now there’s someone in the mirror
But you swear it isn’t you
The lovely thoughts you’re thinking
And those ugly things you do

Your heart is black and rancid
And you can’t erase the stain
You got booze and you got pills
To protect you from the pain
An umbrella in a hurricane
Won’t keep away the rain

Your body and your soul
Are in a nasty civil war
You just keep on doing
Crazy things you did before
There’s gonna come a time
When you can’t take it anymore

You choked to death on love
That you were too afraid to give
On your tombstone it will say
That you had too much pride to live
Some folks choose to die
When it’s too frightful to forgive

by Richard W. Bray

Says he loves me all the time

May 1, 2018

He says his marriage
Is really a jail
I could rip her to shreds
With my fingernails

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She doesn’t even know
Who he really is
Would’ve left her long ago
If it wasn’t for the kids

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She’s a bitch and a hag
And a vampire shrew
She’s never gonna love him
The way I do

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

My life would be perfect
If it wasn’t for her
That spoiled little bitch
With her diamonds and pearls

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

Waiting just see him
Anytime I can
I’m never gonna stop
Fighting for my man

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

by Richard W. Bray

Sanity Hacks

April 28, 2018

Listen to Your Fixations

Actively listening to the words you tell yourself inside your head is called metacognition. It’s the first step in stilling your mind and figuring out who you really are. This can be very frightening and very painful, but it’s worth it.

It’s a lot more fun to think about other people’s problems than it is to think about our own. That’s why we do it all the time. But fixating on other people’s lives is a colossal waste of time and effort.

What’s going on inside our heads when we fixate on people? Usually, it’s one of these three things:

1) Jealousy
2) Something about their life or their behavior makes you feel insecure
3) They’re exhibiting some trait that you recognize in yourself and that makes you uncomfortable.

Listening to your fixations and looking inward for their causes can teach you more about yourself than you ever wanted to know. But it’s worth it if you want to live your own life.

Don’t Expect Life to be Fair

We are complex social organisms and our intense preoccupation with fairness is an essential aspect of our biological makeup. This trait is even observable in other social organisms.

Life isn’t fair. And you can drive yourself crazy fixating on how everybody else deserves to be punished for not being as righteous as you are. But it’s a colossal waste of time and effort and it won’t get you anywhere.

I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be held accountable for the things we do. We need to have rules and laws and courts and judges for society to function. And we need to be vigilant in our efforts to make these institutions function as fairly as humanely possible.

But don’t fritter away your precious time on Earth fixating on the great unfairness of it all. That will only make you miserable.

Live Your Own Life

When I hear myself thinking about what other people should or shouldn’t be doing, I try to quell my overactive mind by repeating this mantra:

Mind my own business. Live my own life.

This happens several times a day. Unfortunately, fixating on what other people are doing and assessing the rightness or wrongness of their behavior is a natural part of being human. But so are jealousy and hatred. That doesn’t mean they’re good for us.

We can’t prevent ourselves from wanting to regulate other people’s lives, but we can monitor our thinking and try to focus on our own behavior as much as possible.

Don’t Let Resentment Rule Your Life

Some clichés are really helpful and this bit of folk wisdom is invaluable:

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Even if you have a legitimate gripe with the person you resent, your resentment is your own issue. Unless magic and voodoo dolls actually work, there’s no way your resentment is going to change the world. It’s just going to make your spirit ill.

Work to make the world a better place and spread as much love as you can. You can also go to yoga class and try to breathe your resentment away. It helps.

by Richard W. Bray