Posts Tagged ‘denial’

Neurosis is My Superpower

December 1, 2018

Have you tried
Covering your ears
Closing both your eyes
Ignoring life for years
Repeating soothing lies?

Neurosis is my superpower
So long as I don’t leave the tower

Have you tried
Talk, talk, talking
About everyone you know?
Make it super shocking
And never stop the show

Neurosis is my superpower
Spreading bullshit sweet and sour

Have you tried
Rewiring all the neurons
Dashing through your head?
Tell yourself you’re pure in
The things you did and said

Neurosis is my superpower
Eating lies and shitting flowers

By Richard W. Bray

someone to blame

November 11, 2018

Your life is full of pain
Things you can’t explain
You find someone to blame
So every problem is the same

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

Thinking hurts your head
Everything turns red
You focus your frustration
On a person or a nation

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

Will quiet desperation
Explode in devastation?
Will you drive yourself insane
Hiding from the pain?

You’re a little bit neurotic
And your ego’s really weak
You’re a scared little lamb
And a fixating geek

by Richard W. Bray

hang dang dibble

November 3, 2018

I could be a little bitch
But I’d rather be a man
Ain’t gonna let no woman
Tell me who I am

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
How she’s looking tonight
Or the way she cuts her hair

I’m gonna have another beer
I’m gonna play it where it lays
Till it all disappears
In a honey-colored haze

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
If she found another lover
To take her everywhere

Don’t matter that she loved me
Like nobody ever did
Won’t get hung up on a feeling
Like a stupid little kid

Don’t know hang dang dibble
And I don’t really care
Living in the past
Won’t never get you anywhere

By Richard W. Bray

Stinky Thinky Said

August 25, 2018

Stinky Thinky said:
Why did God create me?
Everything is wrong
The universe must hate me

Stinky Thinky said:
She asked me for my name
She probably wants my money
Or maybe she’s insane

Stinky Thinky said:
There’s a spot on my skin
I’m probably gonna die
I’m calling all my kin

Stinky Thinky said:
I’m looking out for you
I don’t tell you things
Cuz it makes you so blue

Stinky Thinky said:
Life is such a shame
So much evil in the world
I take all the blame

Stinky Thinky hides
From all of his actions
By creating a storm
Of noise and distraction

by Richard W. Bray

fifty-seven lies

May 19, 2018

It takes fifty-seven lies
Just to get you outta bed
Lies are like a fungus
That grows inside your head
You need a journal to keep track of
All the lies you ever said

Once upon a time
There was a girl who loved you true
Now there’s someone in the mirror
But you swear it isn’t you
The lovely thoughts you’re thinking
And those ugly things you do

Your heart is black and rancid
And you can’t erase the stain
You got booze and you got pills
To protect you from the pain
An umbrella in a hurricane
Won’t keep away the rain

Your body and your soul
Are in a nasty civil war
You just keep on doing
Crazy things you did before
There’s gonna come a time
When you can’t take it anymore

You choked to death on love
That you were too afraid to give
On your tombstone it will say
That you had too much pride to live
Some folks choose to die
When it’s too frightful to forgive

by Richard W. Bray

Says he loves me all the time

May 1, 2018

He says his marriage
Is really a jail
I could rip her to shreds
With my fingernails

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She doesn’t even know
Who he really is
Would’ve left her long ago
If it wasn’t for the kids

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She’s a bitch and a hag
And a vampire shrew
She’s never gonna love him
The way I do

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

My life would be perfect
If it wasn’t for her
That spoiled little bitch
With her diamonds and pearls

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

Waiting just see him
Anytime I can
I’m never gonna stop
Fighting for my man

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

by Richard W. Bray

sweet and pure

February 6, 2018

Nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’
Billy Preston

There ain’t a woman who can see
All the love inside of me

Stupid two-bit loser town
Bitches try to bring me down

I need a woman sweet and pure
I’ll find my truth inside of her

I spend my cash and act a clown
Bitches try to bring me down

A million things that I could be
If only she believed in me

I could drink until I drown
Bitches try to bring me down

by Richard W. Bray

Fixating Fixater

January 20, 2018

Fixating fixater
Frightened of yourself
Never stop talking
About everybody else

Fixating Fixater
Hanging by a thread
Neurotic fabrications
Stuck inside your head

Fixating fixater
Yackity yap yap
Pointing all your fingers
And talking loads of crap

Fixating fixater
Hiding from the pain
Take a slow breath
And look inside your brain

by Richard W. Bray

Listening to Yourself

January 14, 2018

Metacognition

Metacognition means thinking about thinking. You can do this by listening to the words you say aloud, and more importantly, by listening to the words you silently tell yourself. That’s where the real action is — inside your head.

Self-awareness begins by examining the words and phrases your mind creates and then asking yourself if it would make sense for someone in your position to say such a thing.

Phrases to Watch Out For

Any sentence that begins with the words “I don’t care” is probably a lie you’re telling yourself to protect your feelings. Here are some examples of the types of ego-preserving lies we tell ourselves and one another all the time:

I don’t care that dad abandoned us when I was four.”

“I don’t care who she’s going out with.”

“I really don’t care if he ever loved me or not.”

Here’s another example: Whenever you hear yourself say, “He’s just_______,” “She’s just_________,” or “It’s just________,” it’s probably because someone or something has hurt you and made you feel bad about yourself. And now you want to diminish someone or something to make the hurt go away. It never works, but our brains are designed to do it anyway.

For example: Let’s say that Walter is bragging to the guys about his hot date with Gladys. Poor Alex secretly adores Gladys, but he never quite got up the nerve to ask her out. Now his brain is cascaded with defensive outrage and denial:

“Walter is just a stupid, arrogant, spoiled asshole.”

“She doesn’t really like him. She’s just going out with him because he’s tall, good-looking, and his parents are rich.”

“She’s just a dumb little bitch for going out with that guy”

We Think by Feeling

We often talk about thoughts and feelings as though they were in competition with one another. “Don’t let your feelings get in the way of your decision,” is a common refrain. But there is no such battle occurring in our souls between thinking and feeling. Thoughts and feelings are inseparable. Thoughts don’t exist in opposition to feelings — thoughts are better understood as the residue of feelings. “We think by feeling,” is how the great American poet Theodore Roethke put it. This observation has been confirmed by a whole body of modern brain research.

Scottish philosopher David Hume figured this all out over two hundred years ago without the benefit modern fMRI machines that tell us which parts of the brain are involved in the decision-making process. Hume was one seriously smart and reflective dude.

The Unexamined Life

Socrates said that the unexamined life isn’t worth living, but it’s also been noted that ignorance is bliss. So what should you do? Who knows? Metacognition is both painful and enlightening. The question is: Can you handle the truth?

By Richard W. Bray

 

I had to find out for myself

December 22, 2017

She burned my possessions
She poisoned my mule
She shredded my flat screen
And threw it in the pool

I had to find out
for myself
I wouldn’t believe
nobody else

She’s runnin all around
With a bunch of new men
My boss and my brother
And five of my friends

I had to find out
for myself
it wrecked my mind
and ruined my health

She emptied my treasury
She cashed in my chips
She bought herself rubies
And had a nice trip

I had to find out
for myself
she really helped me
share the wealth

All of my buddies
Been saying for years
But I was too timid
To face down my fears

I had to find out
for myself
I wouldn’t believe
nobody else

by Richard W. Bray