Posts Tagged ‘denial’

fifty-seven lies

May 19, 2018

It takes fifty-seven lies
Just to get you outta bed
Lies are like a fungus
That grows inside your head
You need a journal to keep track of
All the lies you ever said

Once upon a time
There was a girl who loved you true
Now there’s someone in the mirror
But you swear it isn’t you
The lovely thoughts you’re thinking
And those ugly things you do

Your heart is black and rancid
And you can’t erase the stain
You got booze and you got pills
To protect you from the pain
An umbrella in a hurricane
Won’t keep away the rain

Your body and your soul
Are in a nasty civil war
You just keep on doing
Crazy things you did before
There’s gonna come a time
When you can’t take it anymore

You choked to death on love
That you were too afraid to give
On your tombstone it will say
That you had too much pride to live
Some folks choose to die
When it’s too frightful to forgive

by Richard W. Bray

Says he loves me all the time

May 1, 2018

He says his marriage
Is really a jail
I could rip her to shreds
With my fingernails

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She doesn’t even know
Who he really is
Would’ve left her long ago
If it wasn’t for the kids

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

She’s a bitch and a hag
And a vampire shrew
She’s never gonna love him
The way I do

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

My life would be perfect
If it wasn’t for her
That spoiled little bitch
With her diamonds and pearls

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

Waiting just see him
Anytime I can
I’m never gonna stop
Fighting for my man

Someday he’s gonna be all mine
Says he loves me all the time

by Richard W. Bray

sweet and pure

February 6, 2018

Nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’
Billy Preston

There ain’t a woman who can see
All the love inside of me

Stupid two-bit loser town
Bitches try to bring me down

I need a woman sweet and pure
I’ll find my truth inside of her

I spend my cash and act a clown
Bitches try to bring me down

A million things that I could be
If only she believed in me

I could drink until I drown
Bitches try to bring me down

by Richard W. Bray

Fixating Fixater

January 20, 2018

Fixating fixater
Frightened of yourself
Never stop talking
About everybody else

Fixating Fixater
Hanging by a thread
Neurotic fabrications
Stuck inside your head

Fixating fixater
Yackity yap yap
Pointing all your fingers
And talking loads of crap

Fixating fixater
Hiding from the pain
Take a slow breath
And look inside your brain

by Richard W. Bray

Listening to Yourself

January 14, 2018

Metacognition

Metacognition means thinking about thinking. You can do this by listening to the words you say aloud, and more importantly, by listening to the words you silently tell yourself. That’s where the real action is — inside your head.

Self-awareness begins by examining the words and phrases your mind creates and then asking yourself if it would make sense for someone in your position to say such a thing.

Phrases to Watch Out For

Any sentence that begins with the words “I don’t care” is probably a lie you’re telling yourself to protect your feelings. Here are some examples of the types of ego-preserving lies we tell ourselves and one another all the time:

I don’t care that dad abandoned us when I was four.”

“I don’t care who she’s going out with.”

“I really don’t care if he ever loved me or not.”

Here’s another example: Whenever you hear yourself say, “He’s just_______,” “She’s just_________,” or “It’s just________,” it’s probably because someone or something has hurt you and made you feel bad about yourself. And now you want to diminish someone or something to make the hurt go away. It never works, but our brains are designed to do it anyway.

For example: Let’s say that Walter is bragging to the guys about his hot date with Gladys. Poor Alex secretly adores Gladys, but he never quite got up the nerve to ask her out. Now his brain is cascaded with defensive outrage and denial:

“Walter is just a stupid, arrogant, spoiled asshole.”

“She doesn’t really like him. She’s just going out with him because he’s tall, good-looking, and his parents are rich.”

“She’s just a dumb little bitch for going out with that guy”

We Think by Feeling

We often talk about thoughts and feelings as though they were in competition with one another. “Don’t let your feelings get in the way of your decision,” is a common refrain. But there is no such battle occurring in our souls between thinking and feeling. Thoughts and feelings are inseparable. Thoughts don’t exist in opposition to feelings — thoughts are better understood as the residue of feelings. “We think by feeling,” is how the great American poet Theodore Roethke put it. This observation has been confirmed by a whole body of modern brain research.

Scottish philosopher David Hume figured this all out over two hundred years ago without the benefit modern fMRI machines that tell us which parts of the brain are involved in the decision-making process. Hume was one seriously smart and reflective dude.

The Unexamined Life

Socrates said that the unexamined life isn’t worth living, but it’s also been noted that ignorance is bliss. So what should you do? Who knows? Metacognition is both painful and enlightening. The question is: Can you handle the truth?

By Richard W. Bray

 

I had to find out for myself

December 22, 2017

She burned my possessions
She poisoned my mule
She shredded my flat screen
And threw it in the pool

I had to find out
for myself
I wouldn’t believe
nobody else

She’s runnin all around
With a bunch of new men
My boss and my brother
And five of my friends

I had to find out
for myself
it wrecked my mind
and ruined my health

She emptied my treasury
She cashed in my chips
She bought herself rubies
And had a nice trip

I had to find out
for myself
she really helped me
share the wealth

All of my buddies
Been saying for years
But I was too timid
To face down my fears

I had to find out
for myself
I wouldn’t believe
nobody else

by Richard W. Bray

Smokescreen

November 4, 2017

The Russians broke in
When I was outta town
Drank all my whiskey
And burned the place down

The Russians ate my homework
And Putin hacked my phone
My boyfriend saw his dick pic
And now I’m all alone

My manager’s a Russian
He’s an undercover Tsar
Always hacking at my server
And eating caviar

Down in every basement
Under every bed
There’s a sneaky Russian agent
They know everything you said

Call the Justice League
And summon Chuck Norris
Cuz we’re under assault
From Natasha and Boris

by Richard W. Bray

or let it kill you

October 12, 2017



Digesting people’s problems
Now you’re such a nervous wreck
It’s a powerful distraction
Like a weight around your neck

Let it go
Or let it kill you
Live your life or play a role
You can let their drama fill you
But it leaves a giant hole

Some secrets are so scary
You even keep them from yourself
And drive them underneath
Until they devastate your health

Let it out
Or let it kill you
Sunken Secrets take a toll
Don’t submerge yourself until you
Rot the bosom of your soul

by Richard W. Bray

If Only

February 26, 2017

zzzzifonly

If only I was taller
I’d be in the NBA
If only you were perfect
I never would betray

If only I were lucky
Things never go my way
If only I were handsome
Love would never go astray

If only
everybody
Would just let me be me
If only somebody
Would love me just for me

If only life were fair
I never would complain
If only this world
Didn’t have so much pain

If only the past
Was something I didn’t know
If only you still loved me
Like you did long ago

by Richard W. Bray

Pull Yer Head Out

January 9, 2017

zzzdenial

Do you think
You’ll be safe
If you stick
Your head up there?
You should find
A better place
Before you run
Out of air

There isn’t
Sanctuary
Where the sun
Doesn’t shine
The world is
No less scary
And you’re gonna
Wreck your spine

It’s gonna
Hurt a lot
But you gotta
Pull it free
Don’t waste
The life you got
Pretending
Not to see

by Richard W. Bray