Posts Tagged ‘liars’
April 6, 2019
Hamster Heart Doctor
We had some plans to meet
You were seven days late
You said your hamster had angina
And your cat had a date
You found a hamster heart doctor
In a faraway state
That’s the best story
You could fabricate
you don’t have say why
don’t make up
another lie
just say goodbye
just say goodbye
We had some plans to meet
But you just weren’t there
You said you couldn’t find your keys
And you had to wash your hair
You really needed a nap
There was nothing to wear
And three of your cousins
Got eaten by a bear
you don’t have say why
don’t make up
another lie
just say goodbye
just say goodbye
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:country music, Country Music Lyrics, Humor, liars, lyrics
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
February 12, 2017
Johnny Backstab killed his brother
At the tender age of four
Shanked him with a butter knife
And left him on the floor
His mother asked, “Now Johnny,
Whatever did you do that for?”
Johnny said, “He took my donut.
He won’t do it anymore.”
Beware those empty eyes
In Johnny’s lying little head
If he can’t get you with his knife
He will use his words instead
There’s not an ounce of truth
In everything he ever said
A thousand trusting souls
Lay in Johnny’s trail of red
Johnny Backstab is your neighbor,
He’s your boss, or he’s your friend
He is pleasant in your presence
And he never will offend
He’s beguiling; he is charming
He knows how to pretend
But if you don’t watch your back
He will get you in the end
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:country music, Country Music Lyrics, liars, lying liars, lyrics
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
January 29, 2017
Walter thinks that someone
Is sleeping with his wife
If he knew it was me
It would mess up his life
I told him not to worry
To shelter him from strife
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
My boss really likes me
And he’s such a great guy
He’s losing lots of money
But he doesn’t know why
If he knew I was embezzling
He would probably die
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
I’ll never tell my wife
That I pawned her diamond ring
She got it from her grandma
And she really loves that thing
But cubic zirconia
Makes some pretty nice bling
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:Humor, humorous poetry, liars, losers, Poetry
Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »
August 21, 2016
Seen your phony
Ass around
Kissing up
And kicking down
Back-stabbing con man
Shifty little cur
Smiling like a demon
You slander and slur
Big house of lies
Cunning little plan
Lying little weasel
Shifty little man
A two-faced
Sneaky snake
Spreading discord
In your wake
Playing all against
Each other
You’re the dude who
Snitched his mother
Sycophant, con man
Double-dealing liar
Pouring gasoline
Creep away from the fire
Just another
Dirty, smelly
Two-bit little
Machiavelli
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:country music, Country Music Lyrics, liars, lyrics, two-faced weasels
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
November 7, 2014
Y’all some
Wine-sippin,
God-hatin,
Tree-huggin,
Baby-killin
Tofu eaters
Hopeless heathen wife-cheaters
Yellow-bellied troop-defeaters
I can tell you who you are
Just by lookin at your car
And the clothes that you wear
And the way you cut your hair
Y’all some
Truck-drivin,
Gun-clingin,
Choir-singin,
Beer-guzzlin
Boo-boo raisers
Redneck mobile home appraisers
Happy when you’re meltin glaciers
I just look at you and shrug
It’s so easy to be smug
We can fuss and fight all day
While they send our jobs away
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:Blue State, country music, Country Music Lyrics, Humor, liars, lyrics, Red State
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
November 1, 2014
I like ’em rich and slightly gray
I thought she was the perfect prey
Just when I thought I had it made
I got punked and she got played
I didn’t know when to be afraid
I maxed her cards and sold her jade
But I couldn’t finish my charade
I got punked and she got played
She treated help like galley slaves
My work was like a small crusade
But when she caught me with the maid
I got punked and she got played
My best laid plans didn’t go so well
Now she’s in jail and I’m in hell
She sure knew how to work that blade
I got punked and she got played
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:country music, Country Music Lyrics, gigolos, Humor, liars, lyrics
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
September 6, 2014
I heard a politician
His tongue was made of gold
He whetted all my wishin
What a tale he told
But once he got elected
He didn’t change a thing
His words were all infected
But Lord that man could sing
A honey-drippin phrase
Just puts me in a daze
I’m blinded by my ears
Every time I hear
A phony-talking sneak
It always leaves me weak
A man came from the city
What a song he sung
He made me feel so pretty
He made me feel so young
Now my soul is scarred
From all the things he did
He maxed out all my cards
And left me with a kid
A honey-drippin phrase
Just puts me in a daze
I’m blinded by my ears
Every time I hear
A phony-talking sneak
It always leaves me weak
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:country music, Country Music Lyrics, liars, lyrics, politicians, sneaks
Posted in If it sounds country, Lyrics | Leave a Comment »
July 27, 2012
You’re an eight-faced scoundrel
And a natural-born liar
A fraudulent trickster
And a bully for hire
A backstabbing rascal
And a world-class fraud
Hiding all your mischief
With a friendly facade
A double-dealing sinner
With a mutilated soul
Mendacious commander
Of the lowlife patrol
A hoodwinking devil
Prevaricating cad
A two-timing villain who’d
Swindle your own dad
Perfidious varmint
And an underhanded lout
Your delinquent credentials
Are beyond all doubt
A double-crossing blackguard
And a treacherous sneak
A shiftyshady grifter
Who preys on the weak
I’ll tell the whole world
You’re twelve kinds of stinky
Cuz you’re the dirty scamp
Who took my last twinkie
by Richard W. Bray
Tags:Children's Literature, children’s poetry, comedy, dishonesty, histrionics, Humor, humorous poetry, hyperbole, liars, Poetry, scamps, stealing, thieves, twinkies
Posted in Children's Poetry, Poetry | Leave a Comment »
