Posts Tagged ‘lying liars’

Johnny Backstab

February 12, 2017

zzzbackstab

Johnny Backstab killed his brother
At the tender age of four
Shanked him with a butter knife
And left him on the floor
His mother asked, “Now Johnny,
Whatever did you do that for?”
Johnny said, “He took my donut.
He won’t do it anymore.”

Beware those empty eyes
In Johnny’s lying little head
If he can’t get you with his knife
He will use his words instead
There’s not an ounce of truth
In everything he ever said
A thousand trusting souls
Lay in Johnny’s trail of red

Johnny Backstab is your neighbor,
He’s your boss, or he’s your friend
He is pleasant in your presence
And he never will offend
He’s beguiling; he is charming
He knows how to pretend
But if you don’t watch your back
He will get you in the end

by Richard W. Bray

Whoppers

December 13, 2010

Whoppers

I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers

When I forgot to do my chores
Cleverly, I uttered:
“Typhoon Tom blew off the doors
That’s why my room is cluttered”

When I ate the birthday cake
Purchased for my sister
I blamed it on a hungry snake
I said, “Y’all just missed her”

When I took ten thousand bucks
Earmarked for the poor
I just smiled and said, “Aw, shucks
It just ran out the door”

When I didn’t turn the gas off
And blew up several houses
I blamed it on an army of
Flamethrower-toting mouses

When I didn’t want to eat my peas
It required all my smarts
To claim that peas will make you wheeze
And cause colossal farts

When I wished to meet the star
Who was an awesome dancer
I showed her agent an old scar
And faked that I had cancer

When my dog went next door
And rooted up some posies
I said, “I saw a warthog
With roseys on his nosey?”


I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers

by Richard W. Bray