Posts Tagged ‘lying’

Whoppers

December 13, 2010

Whoppers

I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers

When I forgot to do my chores
Cleverly, I uttered:
“Typhoon Tom blew off the doors
That’s why my room is cluttered”

When I ate the birthday cake
Purchased for my sister
I blamed it on a hungry snake
I said, “Y’all just missed her”

When I took ten thousand bucks
Earmarked for the poor
I just smiled and said, “Aw, shucks
It just ran out the door”

When I didn’t turn the gas off
And blew up several houses
I blamed it on an army of
Flamethrower-toting mouses

When I didn’t want to eat my peas
It required all my smarts
To claim that peas will make you wheeze
And cause colossal farts

When I wished to meet the star
Who was an awesome dancer
I showed her agent an old scar
And faked that I had cancer

When my dog went next door
And rooted up some posies
I said, “I saw a warthog
With roseys on his nosey?”


I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers

by Richard W. Bray