Whoppers
I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers
When I forgot to do my chores
Cleverly, I uttered:
“Typhoon Tom blew off the doors
That’s why my room is cluttered”
When I ate the birthday cake
Purchased for my sister
I blamed it on a hungry snake
I said, “Y’all just missed her”
When I took ten thousand bucks
Earmarked for the poor
I just smiled and said, “Aw, shucks
It just ran out the door”
When I didn’t turn the gas off
And blew up several houses
I blamed it on an army of
Flamethrower-toting mouses
When I didn’t want to eat my peas
It required all my smarts
To claim that peas will make you wheeze
And cause colossal farts
When I wished to meet the star
Who was an awesome dancer
I showed her agent an old scar
And faked that I had cancer
When my dog went next door
And rooted up some posies
I said, “I saw a warthog
With roseys on his nosey?”
I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers
by Richard W. Bray
Tags: Children's Literature, children’s poetry, Humor, humorous poetry, lies, lying, lying liars, Poetry
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