Please Don’t
Don’t cough in by coffee
Don’t bark up my tree
Don’t scoff at my toffee
Don’t wave at my sea
Don’t hide in my hide
Don’t bumble my bee
Don’t side with my side
Just please let me be
by Richard W. Bray
Posts Tagged ‘Children’s Literature’
Please Don’t
January 2, 2011Whoppers
December 13, 2010
Whoppers
I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers
When I forgot to do my chores
Cleverly, I uttered:
“Typhoon Tom blew off the doors
That’s why my room is cluttered”
When I ate the birthday cake
Purchased for my sister
I blamed it on a hungry snake
I said, “Y’all just missed her”
When I took ten thousand bucks
Earmarked for the poor
I just smiled and said, “Aw, shucks
It just ran out the door”
When I didn’t turn the gas off
And blew up several houses
I blamed it on an army of
Flamethrower-toting mouses
When I didn’t want to eat my peas
It required all my smarts
To claim that peas will make you wheeze
And cause colossal farts
When I wished to meet the star
Who was an awesome dancer
I showed her agent an old scar
And faked that I had cancer
When my dog went next door
And rooted up some posies
I said, “I saw a warthog
With roseys on his nosey?”
I’ll never tell you little lies
I’ll only tell you whoppers
Fibs are for the other guys
My lies are all chart-toppers
by Richard W. Bray
Steve
November 15, 2010
Steve
My name is Steve and I believe
All that I am told
My buddy Bill who lives up the hill
Is a hundred and sixty years old
My neighbor Frank who works at the bank
Is really the king of Siam
My friend Frankie Nicks who picks up my bricks
Once built the Hoover Dam
My tailor Tom who’s always so calm
Is a super secret spy
And my homey Sal who calls himself Al
Owns everything under the sky
My friends all agree that I’m lucky to be
Their favorite trusting friend
Just ask Mr. Wirth, who rules the Earth
He lives just round the bend
by Richard W. Bray
Rupert
November 10, 2010
Rupert
Candice bought a robot
At the five-and-dime
All day long the two of them
Had a lovely time
She named the robot Rupert
And she let him loose indoors
With instructions on completing
All her work and chores
Rupert did her homework
With his calculator brain
He also did the dishes
And never once complained
She took him to a party
Where he really stole the show
He danced his robot heart out
Till it was time to go
Friends and Candice dressed him
In her mother’s clothes
With high-heeled shoes and lipstick
And powder on his nose
They sent Rupert to the kitchen
To make them all some treats
He quickly whipped up entrées
A platter full of eats
Gladys said, “Hey Candice,
My toenails need a trim”
Rupert then gave pedicures
To everyone but Jim
Candice soon discovered
There was nothing he couldn’t do
He could clean her house and wash her hair
And polish every shoe
Now Candice is so pampered
She never leaves her bed
She never needs to worry
Her lazy little head
by Richard W. Bray
Small Wonders
November 1, 2010
Small Wonders
There’s a teensy-weensy town,
Which only can be found
When you get down on your knees
In a forest full of trees
And peer among the roots,
Rotten leaves, and shoots
Near the katydid
Just beneath the mushroom lid.
It’s a Lilliputian land,
Built, designed and planned
By a teeny-tiny breed
Of creatures known as Sneeds.
This itsy-bitsy borough
No deeper than a furrow
Has microscopic alleys,
Bridges, roads and valleys
Mini libraries and malls,
Little parks with waterfalls;
A minuscular world
Filled with minute boys and girls.
They get dressed each day like you
In their teensy clothes and shoes.
They attend their puny schools
So they won’t be dinky fools,
But like you they’d rather play
In their wondrous world all day.
So the next time you go hiking
You really would do well
To be careful to tread lightly
Cuz’ you really cannot tell
What worlds you may be trampling
In a forest or a dell.
by Richard W. Bray
Ghosts
October 23, 2010
Ghosts
Sleeping in my chamber
I was awakened by a sound
Oblivious to danger
I got up to look around
Darkly beckoned onward
I chased a ghost that night
It led me down a hallway
I could not contain my fright
It hovered near a doorway
And exploded on the floor
And a thousand little spirits
Scampered neath the door
Hesitating for a moment
I summoned all my guts
And thought, “If I’m not dreaming
I must be going nuts.”
Placing hand on doorknob
I pushed open the creaking door
I didn’t know what I was seeking
I had no wish to explore—
The room was filled with goblins
And other creatures of lore
I tried to avert my eyeballs
As the specter began to pour
Red liquid into a chalice
But it did not look like wine
I wondered whose house this was
Surely it couldn’t be mine
I walked up to the fellow, knees quaking
It was time to make a stand
And with my fist ashaking
I said, “I do demand
That you and ghoulish posse
Vacate my home forthwith
I’m not one to be haunted
By creatures out of myth!”
Suddenly there was silence
All eyes affixed to me
I feared they’d do me violence
It seemed an eternity
The specter appeared to smile
And with a wave of his hand
He sent the other monsters
To some foreign land
He looked straight in my eye
And said, “Let me explain
My creepy friends and I
Live inside of your brain”
Then I was awakened
By a ringing telephone
I jumped up forsaken
No time to be alone
I picked up the receiver
A voice much like my own:
“Now you can be a believer”
Static. Click. Dial tone.
by Richard W. Bray
(Since it’s that season, you can find more scary poems here, here, here, and here)
Creatures
October 17, 2010
Creatures
Creatures you’ll meet
Out on my street:
Goblins, vampires
Shrunken head buyers
Gargoyles, zombies
Brain-dead mummies
Giant spiders
Headless riders
Grimmer Reapers
Crawly creepers
Werewolves, Frank Stein
Are not friends mine
No joy for me
Just lost my key
Locked out, late night
Cold air, fresh fright
Who could this be?
Someone help me
It’s moved closer
I’m safe? No, sir
Mommy, save me
It might grave me
Neighbor Louise
With my spare keys
“Thank you!” I gush
Inside. Big rush
by Richard W. Bray
Mud
October 11, 2010
Mud
Mary McCrae sent her son out to play
One sunny afternoon
Timmy McCrae and his friends they did stray
To a grimy green lagoon
They slithered and slid and crawled and hid
Among the muddy dunes
Digging and rigging and slopping and glopping
They built a loam pontoon
In a puddle of silt by the boat they had built
Timmy tried to douse
Some of the slime, mud, muck and grime
Before he reached his house
But he could not lose the trail of ooze
Which steadily grew behind him
(I could run away his mind did stray
But someone surely would find him)
As his house appeared poor Timmy feared
His mother would no doubt remind him
The new school threads laid out on his bed
Which Mary had bought for her son
Were not meant for play and there was no way
To explain what he had done
He couldn’t get away or sheepishly say
“Mom, I was just having fun!”
Correctly he guessed, she wouldn’t be impressed
If he told her that his side had won
Poor Timmy shuddered, his little heart sputtered
As he reached his front door
He wouldn’t be acquitted, nor even permitted
To play outside any more
He entered his house, mute as a mouse
His mother let out a great roar
But when she recovered, Timmy discovered
She did not completely deplore
The layers of slime, mud, muck, and grime
Encompassing her child
For in her own day Mary MaCrae
Was known to be a tad wild
by Richard W. Bray
Entrepreneurial Hero
October 6, 2010
Entrepreneurial Hero
Davey had a bank account with several thousand bucks
And since he wasn’t using it, his money was just stuck
So I hauled it all away one day—I didn’t need any trucks
I just used the Internet. He has such awful luck
I bought everything I wanted till all my cash was spent
Clothes and electronics is where my dollars went
I telegraphed my parents for more money to be sent
But I’d done it all before; they couldn’t even pay the rent
Like poor starving Oliver, I merely wanted more
So I started my own business, selling gewgaws and what-fors
I wasn’t too successful, for it’s work that I deplore
So I issued bogus stocks and bonds and sold them door to door
At my Cayman Islands office, the trading was intense
Who would’ve ever guessed I had such business sense?
The feds came out to get me, so I ran and hopped a fence
Then I begged for clemency from foreign governments
Now you’ll find me locked up in a room without a view
For trying to serve my country with financial derring-do
Justice clearly wasn’t served, but what’s a guy to do?
I won’t get released until it’s 2092
by Richard W. Bray
The Kingdom of Homophonia
September 28, 2010
The Kingdom of Homophonia
On a cold, damp night, the king’s favorite knight
Was feeling a little bit hoarse
Although not allowed, he wasn’t too proud
For singing aloud to his horse
(The horse, named Harry, had a brother named Larry
Who was truly more hairy than he)
Now Harry could see it was scary to be
Overlooking great cliffs by the sea
Of course, man and horse followed coarse course
Towards the castle of Don Palindrome
They had chosen to roam to the city of Rome
For that’s where the Don made his home
At a quarter to eight, the two stopped and ate
On a knoll by the side of the trail
The pair had fair fare: an apple, a pear,
And barbecued brisket of quail
They rode down the road and passed a plain plane
Which they had not seen in the past
Man slept as horse led, though its legs felt like lead
They no longer traveled so fast
When the brave knight awoke, a spooky voice spoke,
“Just what are you doing down here?”
A giant hole had swallowed them whole
And something quite scary was near
A sorceress named Shirley appeared and exclaimed,
“Surely, you will die today!
You’ve discovered our coven and you will know
Why visitors do not get away.”
The young knight interjected he had not detected
Which witch was truly in charge
When an old witch named Carrie proceeded to carry
A bucket that was rather large
Gizzards and guts from previous guests
(Who’s to say whose innards they were)
The knight turned pale as he peered in the pail
Staggering away from her
Carrie declared, “They’re two victims right there.
And their hides ain’t going nowhere.
You’re aware that in hours your flesh will be ours
You’ll make a delicious pair”
The two were too scared and quite unprepared
To wind up as anyone’s meal
For four long days, witches roasted and braised
When Beth finally said to Lucille,
“I’d like you to meet the meat we will eat.
It’s time to sprinkle in thyme
And oh, by the way, how much do they weigh?
Does anyone have any lime?”
Although in a daze from not eating for days
The knight had come up with a plan
He had been able to steal a sharp piece of steel
Which he hid in the palm of his hand
Not able to cut clear through the knot
He managed to slide around
Then Harry bit through and off they threw
The cords which held them down
They had no time to heal with witches at heel
As they headed back to the trail
By the hair on his tail, Harry’s speed did prevail
And they both lived to tell this tale
by Richard W. Bray
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