The Kingdom of Homophonia


The Kingdom of Homophonia

On a cold, damp night, the king’s favorite knight
Was feeling a little bit hoarse
Although not allowed, he wasn’t too proud
For singing aloud to his horse
(The horse, named Harry, had a brother named Larry
Who was truly more hairy than he)
Now Harry could see it was scary to be
Overlooking great cliffs by the sea
Of course, man and horse followed coarse course
Towards the castle of Don Palindrome
They had chosen to roam to the city of Rome
For that’s where the Don made his home
At a quarter to eight, the two stopped and ate
On a knoll by the side of the trail
The pair had fair fare: an apple, a pear,
And barbecued brisket of quail
They rode down the road and passed a plain plane
Which they had not seen in the past
Man slept as horse led, though its legs felt like lead
They no longer traveled so fast
When the brave knight awoke, a spooky voice spoke,
“Just what are you doing down here?”
A giant hole had swallowed them whole
And something quite scary was near
A sorceress named Shirley appeared and exclaimed,
“Surely, you will die today!
You’ve discovered our coven and you will know
Why visitors do not get away.”
The young knight interjected he had not detected
Which witch was truly in charge
When an old witch named Carrie proceeded to carry
A bucket that was rather large
Gizzards and guts from previous guests
(Who’s to say whose innards they were)
The knight turned pale as he peered in the pail
Staggering away from her
Carrie declared, “They’re two victims right there.
And their hides ain’t going nowhere.
You’re aware that in hours your flesh will be ours
You’ll make a delicious pair”
The two were too scared and quite unprepared
To wind up as anyone’s meal
For four long days, witches roasted and braised
When Beth finally said to Lucille,
“I’d like you to meet the meat we will eat.
It’s time to sprinkle in thyme
And oh, by the way, how much do they weigh?
Does anyone have any lime?”
Although in a daze from not eating for days
The knight had come up with a plan
He had been able to steal a sharp piece of steel
Which he hid in the palm of his hand
Not able to cut clear through the knot
He managed to slide around
Then Harry bit through and off they threw
The cords which held them down
They had no time to heal with witches at heel
As they headed back to the trail
By the hair on his tail, Harry’s speed did prevail
And they both lived to tell this tale

by Richard W. Bray

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