You’re a mean little phony
From your head to your shoes
The fake, fake smile
Of a fake like you
Your tongue is infected
Like the words you spew
The fake, fake charm
Of a fake like you
There’s a blade in the back
For everyone you knew
The fake, fake friendly
Of a fake like you
You said we were perfect
You’d always be true
The fake, fake love
Of a fake like you
Everybody learns
And now I know it too
The fake, fake heart
Of a fake like you
By Richard W. Bray
Sanctimony and masochism are two sides of the same coin.
—Richard W. Bray
Lazy drunken losers
Stupid punks & fools
I call em as I see em
But I don’t make the rules
Homeless doped-out drifters
Squatting in the street
Helpless hopeless vagrants
No shoes on their feet
Nasty nutty morons
A perpetual disgrace
They sour my disposition
And crinkle up my face
Filthy smutty floozies
They’re out of control
Hardening my heart
They muddy up my soul
Judgement and resentment
Impair your mental health
Swing your blade around
Till you mutilate yourself
By Richard W. Bray
Teacher says my kid is bad
Pinching girls and punching boys
Says he’s quite the lively lad
Busting heads and breaking toys
I gotta raise the feller right
I can’t tolerate no sass
Every time the school calls
I always beat his little ass
He must’ve got that from his friends
Or else he seen it on tv
He didn’t learn that stuff from me
This is a sick society
Police got my boy downtown
For smashing glass and taking beer
I guess I’ll get another round
Before I sneak on outta here
I’m ashamed that he’s my son
That ain’t the way that he was taught
We all like to have our fun
But only idiots get caught
He must’ve got that from his friends
Or else he seen it on tv
He didn’t learn that stuff from me
This is a sick society
by Richard W. Bray
Other People’s Problems
Ever’body got a gift
And I was born to see
Other people’s problems
It’s my spesh-ee-al-i-tee
I’m just here to help them
Be the best they’ll ever be
Got so much time to do it
Cuz there’s nothing wrong with me
My daddy is a sweetheart
But he likes to take a swig
He lives to serve his country
When he ain’t in the brig
And you know I love my mama
Despite everywhere she been
And all my friends and neighbors
Are such paragons of sin:
Sarah is a diva,
Lester is a drunk
Harold is a pervert,
And a weasel and a punk
They tell me “mind your business”
But I know it’s bunk
They pretend that they’re all rosy
When they really smell like skunk
Ever’body got a gift
And I was born to see
Other people’s problems
It’s my spesh-ee-al-i-tee
An Egyptian river is
Where I ought to be
Thinking about you
Replaces thinking about me
by Richard W. Bray
Personal Responsibility
I said I’d clean the chimney
So just calm down
It’s stupid to complain
It already burnt down
I said I’d fix the fridge
So what’s the big deal?
Food’s all spoiled
Let’s go out for a meal
I said I’d feed the fish
I know I forgot
I’m sorry they’re all dead
But at least I’m not
I said I’d cook dinner
But I’m a busy guy
I hear your stomach growling
I can’t imagine why
I said I’d do the laundry
It’s just as well
I hate to tell ya’
But you really smell?
I said I’d pay the bills
And here you are
Just nagging and moaning
They already took your car
I don’t go around telling people what to do
But you need to grow up, if you want my view
If you want it done right, then do it on your own
By the way, I’m outta’ cash. Could your buddy get a loan?
by Richard W. Bray
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