The fish wasn't fresh
The server was late
The "hand squeezed juice"
Was frozen concentrate
The peas were canned
It was domestic cheese
The Chardonnay was warm
And they didn’t let it breathe
I’m such a good person. Can’t you see?
The world depends on people like me
To maintain decorum and decency
The movie was dreadful
The plot was stale
The acting was wooden
An absolute fail
The mountains were awful
The snow was cold
It smelled like pine
The rocks were old
I’m such a good person. Can’t you see?
The world depends on people like me
To maintain decorum and decency
The novel was stuffy
A disgrace to the arts
The story was filled
With boring parts
What a hideous house
And don't call me a hater
Somebody oughta kill
The decorator
I’m such a good person. Can’t you see?
The world depends on people like me
To maintain decorum and decency
by Richard W. Bray
Winkle and Wankle and Wunkle
Got attacked by an angry old skunkle
Wankle and Wunkle and Winkle
We're quite overwhelmed by the stinkle
Wunkle and Winkle and Wankle
Took all of their change to the bankle
Wankle and Winkle and Wunkle
Bought a new house for their uncle
Wunkle and Wankle and Winkle
Have an auto that's purple and pinkle
Winkle and Wunkle and Wankle
Keep plenty of gas in the tankle
Wankle and Winkle and Wunkle
Dribble and pass and slam dunkle
Wunkle and Wankle and Winkle
Roller on skates at the rinkle
Winkle and Wunkle and Wankle
Often smell musty and dankle
by Richard W. Bray
Wacky doodle doo
I just lost my shoe
Hopping off to school
I never follow rules
Hip hip Horatio
I live in outer spacio
Napping on the moon
I'll visit Venus soon
Sippy Ki-Yay
My juice box is ok
Free Fi Fo Fum
He never bothered anyone
I don't know the muffin man
Too dense, too dry, and too much bran
Get it off my table
I'll have another bagel
Roses are yellow
Davey is mellow
Violets are purple
Tammy likes myrtle
Big Bo Peep
She don't need no sheep
She's happy, smart, and rich
And sweaters make her itch
by Richard W. Bray
I really like your auto
And the things it can do
We had one just like it
Back in 1962
My car does the dishes
Cooks my eggs and cuts my hair
It even does my taxes
And tells me what to wear
I really like your children
They’re not afraid to fail
They can even dress themselves
And they’ve never been in jail
My daughter goes to Harvard
Can you believe she’s only four?
Her brother just cured cancer
And he put an end to war
I really like your clothing
It’s so 1982
Your Member’s Only jacket
Is the perfect look for you
Everything I wear
Is from Paris or Milan
If the designer isn’t famous
I won’t even try it on
I really like your courage
You’re not afraid to drink
Nasty rustic water
Coming from your kitchen sink
Pure and pristine water
From a Himalayan spring
The Dalai Lama blessed it
It’s the only thing I drink
You’re my inspiration
You’re so gallant and carefree
You have the will to go on living
And you’re not even me
Walter thinks that someone
Is sleeping with his wife
If he knew it was me
It would mess up his life
I told him not to worry
To shelter him from strife
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
My boss really likes me
And he’s such a great guy
He’s losing lots of money
But he doesn’t know why
If he knew I was embezzling
He would probably die
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
I’ll never tell my wife
That I pawned her diamond ring
She got it from her grandma
And she really loves that thing
But cubic zirconia
Makes some pretty nice bling
It’s considerate to lie
When you’re protecting a friend
Besides, everybody tells
A little fib now and then
I’ve got a long list of real good reasons
For all the things I’ve done
—Willie Nelson
Chores
I didn’t do the dishes
Cuz the water’s awful mucky
And it wrinkles up my digits
And it’s really rather yucky
I did not rake the yard
Cuz I didn’t wanna blister
If you need a beast of burden
You should get my little sister
I did not clean my room
Cuz I’ll just mess it up again
It’s simply Sisyphean
Why can’t you comprehend?
Your nagging and your pleading
Make you sound like such a bore
Now fetch me up some vittles
And then finish all my chores
Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog 