I wanna be, I wanna be a secular Jew


Been searching through philosophy
To find the one that’s right for me
I meditate and think and read
I finally found the perfect creed:

I wanna be, I wanna be
A secular Jew
I really love the Bible
But I don’t think it’s true

The Christians stole their book
Then they said it was old
We give them ghettos and pogroms
They give us comedy gold

Do the Jews have a Pope?
Cuz I was wonderin’ could he
Make me real funny
Like Groucho and Woody?

I wanna be, I wanna be
An outstanding thinker
Like Einstein, Freud, and Popper
Or that hairy-headed Pinker

Anybody out there
Think they got a solution?
Can I appropriate the culture
And skip the persecution?

Where do I sign?
I’ll gladly pay the fee
Is this a club
That would ever welcome me?

by Richard W. Bray

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