A crying kid
A hungry hound
Investigators
Asking round
An angry spouse
(That crazy shrew)
And a horny
Girlfriend too
I don’t know what I did
To cause this storm
I need to find a place
That’s safe and warm
Creditors with
Just one goal:
Obliterate
My tortured soul
No savings for
A rainy day
Three or four
Ex-wives to pay
My troubles grow and grow
Against my will
Like a snowball
Rolling down a hill
by Richard W. Bray
You never like my cooking
You said my roast was dry
You wouldn’t eat my lasagna
You won’t touch my cherry pie
If you don’t munch on something
I’ll get another guy
I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?
You never liked my family
You said my dad was dirt
You came to brunch on Sunday
But you didn’t bring your shirt
If my brothers ever see you
They’ll fill you up with hurt
I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?
You never do the dishes
You never mop the floor
You think that I’m your maid
You think that I’m your whore
You just need direction
So, buddy there’s the door
I do everything you ask me to
What T F is wrong with you?
I’m loyal and I’m pretty too
What T F is wrong with you?
A bigger fool I never knew
What T F is wrong with you?
by Richard W. Bray
When Hadley McNutter
Mumbles and Mutters
He makes the ground tremble
And gives me the shudders
This ogre from hell
Ain’t your typical tyrant
When Hadley explodes
He erupts like a hydrant
He tramples and tromps
Like a like a lumbering giant
He rumbles and romps
Like monster defiant
When Hadley is hungry
We both rush to feed him
Such a wonderful burden—
How much we need him
He gets what he wants
And I don’t mean maybe
It’s hard to believe
That he’s merely a baby
by Richard W. Bray
You took me for a snack
Then I never called you back
But I thought about it
I didn’t replace your car
When I crashed into that bar
But I thought about it
And I never did the chores
That your father paid me for
But I thought about it
Didn’t feed your fishes for a week
When I climbed that mountain peak
But I thought about it
I didn’t apologize
For their premature demise
But I thought about it
I’m sorry that you’re gone
And I know that I was wrong
Cuz I thought about it
by Richard W. Bray
Teacher says my kid is bad
Pinching girls and punching boys
Says he’s quite the lively lad
Busting heads and breaking toys
I gotta raise the feller right
I can’t tolerate no sass
Every time the school calls
I always beat his little ass
He must’ve got that from his friends
Or else he seen it on tv
He didn’t learn that stuff from me
This is a sick society
Police got my boy downtown
For smashing glass and taking beer
I guess I’ll get another round
Before I sneak on outta here
I’m ashamed that he’s my son
That ain’t the way that he was taught
We all like to have our fun
But only idiots get caught
He must’ve got that from his friends
Or else he seen it on tv
He didn’t learn that stuff from me
This is a sick society
by Richard W. Bray
You can’t fill up on happy
By drinking twenty beers
Or eating cotton candy
Till it comes out your ears
Happy don’t yield dividends
When you pursue it as an end
Happy is the residue
Of all the worthwhile things we do
The need to know that nibbles
And asks us who we are
Won’t be sated by garages
With fifty-seven cars
Happy don’t yield dividends
When you pursue it as an end
Happy is the residue
Of all the worthwhile things we do
Find yourself a project
And plug, plug, plug away
Make a little progress
And show up every day
Happy don’t yield dividends
When you pursue it as an end
Happy is the residue
Of all the worthwhile things we do
by Richard W. Bray
Wheel of fortune
Rollin on
My dreams
Gets me so exasperated
Deeds and outcomes
Ain’t related
Sooner or later
Life’ll kick you
In the ass
No one is immune
Nobody
Gets a pass
Everybody got a reason
To be angry
But angry
Won’t feed your chickens
Angry hurts
And angry sickens
Sooner or later
Life’ll kick you
In the ass
No one is immune
Nobody
Gets a pass
Just try to do
Your best
Cuz fickle
Fate don’t give a damn
So cherish what
Is beautiful
And take it like a man
Sooner or later
Life’ll kick you
In the ass
No one is immune
Nobody
Gets a pass
by Richard W. Bray
I hate myself
That makes it easy
To always have
Someone to blame
I hate myself
I’ll never please me
Masochism
Keeps me tame
I hate myself
It’s my boundary
Where I harness
Realms of pain
I hate myself
That’s where you found me
Pain enlightens
And leaves a stain
I hate myself
And pain is fuel
Boundless hurt
Fills my well
I hate myself
I live to rule
Sovereign in
My happy hell
by Richard W. Bray
You always listen
To my words
And you never
Criticize
You’re astute
And self-assured
Sensible
And wise
When we’re alone
I take solace
And comfort
In your eyes
You’re solid
As a stone
Your presence
Pacifies
We don’t even
Have to talk
I love to
Brush your hair
I love it
When we walk
Together
Anywhere
Thanks for keeping
Me content
And helping
Me survive
Truly heaven-sent
You’re the
Greatest
Dog alive
by Richard W. Bray
Got money in my pants
Got a shiny new car
Got tickets to a dance
Got a seat at the bar
Got everything I earned
From all the work I do
But I never ever learned
That I just needed you
I’m a boat without a sail
I’m a light without a lamp
I’m a letter in the mail
That ain’t got no stamp
I’m a fool without a plan
Darling, can’t you understand?
I’m a rinky dink shadow
Of a man
I’m tearing up the town
I’m breaking all the rules
And I’m rollin all around
With a mighty bunch of fools
Got all my crazy pals
Got a million things to do
Got a thousand horny gals
But I just need you
I’m a boat without a sail
I’m a light without a lamp
I’m a letter in the mail
That ain’t got no stamp
I’m a fool without a plan
Darling, can’t you understand?
I’m a rinky dink shadow
Of a man
by Richard W. Bray
Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog 