Posts Tagged ‘Alcoholism’

The Rest of the Time

March 11, 2014

drunx

The problem is, you cannot rescue someone who is addicted to drugs. You can lecture them, to no point, and plead with them, to no avail, but essentially an outsider is powerless over someone else’s addiction. No doubt about it, drugs do make him feel good. It’s just that they make him feel bad all the rest of the time.

Roger Ebert

The rest of
The time ain’t
So much fun
After the party
Is done
Vampires
Whither
In the sun

My friends are
So lively and so free
We’re just who
We wanted
To be

Ain’t nothing
Will ever explain
The nuisance
That nibbles
My brain
My world
Will never
Be sane

My friends are
So lively and so free
We’re just who
We wanted
To be

by Richard W. Bray

The Bottom of the Bottle

July 12, 2013

Kela_beach_(wine_empty_bottle)_-_panoramio

Left in a hurry
And I’m feeling kinda mean
My cleanest dirty shorts*
Ain’t none too clean
Stomach’s full of empty
My hair’s a disgrace
Didn’t even get a chance
To wash my face

Keep diving deeper
But I still ain’t hit
The bottom of the bottle
Is it time to quit?

Had to leave me a woman
Crazier than sin
Getting out was so much tougher
Than getting in
She took all I got
And tied me to her bed
It’s wonder to behold
That I ain’t dead

Keep diving deeper
But I still ain’t hit
The bottom of the bottle
Is it time to quit?

I’ve seen the seedy side
Of every bar and saloon
I drank in every dive
From here to the moon
Got a thousand sordid tales
That I could tell
Shared shots with the devil
In the pit of hell

Keep diving deeper
But I still ain’t hit
The bottom of the bottle
Is it time to quit?

*Sincerest apologies to Mr. Kristofferson

Richard W. Bray

Drunks are Boring

March 22, 2013

drunks

You tell yourselves you’re heroes
For numbing down your souls
Really you’re just cowards
Crawling into holes
Pity you can’t see yourselves
Pity you can’t smell
The putrid cloud of stench
That surrounds your private hell
Nights that start out hopeful
Always end the same
Drunks are boring
Drunks are losers
Drunks are lame

You only drink the good stuff
Cuz you got so much class
But it don’t make much difference
When you’re falling on your ass
Suckin down on stupid
Till you don’t know your name
Drunks are boring
Drunks are losers
Drunks are lame

Slurring back and forth
In a mindless fog of shit
Crawling through a sewer
With fools who won’t admit
What the bottle led to
What they all became
Drunks are boring
Drunks are losers
Drunks are lame

Richard W. Bray

A Brand New Bunch of Lies

February 8, 2013

Magnifying glass with the word lies magnified in square format in blue

I know my baby loves me

Cuz he makes me moan and coo
Sometimes he wreaks of perfume
But what’s a girl to do?
I should feel flattered
Other women want him too

Pondering reality
Is never very wise
I can only take the truth
In disguise
Time for me to find myself
A brand new bunch of lies

I’m just a social drinker
I never drink alone
There’s fifty-seven bars
Where I am widely known
I ain’t an alcoholic
I don’t even drink at home

Pondering reality
Is never very wise
I can only take the truth
In disguise
Time for me to find myself
A brand new bunch of lies

They say my boy’s a bully
Cuz he had a couple fights
He ain’t no troublemaker
He just stands up for his rights
Bail bonds and sirens
Fill my sleepless nights

Pondering reality
Is never very wise
I can only take the truth
In disguise
Time for me to find myself
A brand new bunch of lies

Richard W. Bray

Pain

August 15, 2012

Narcotics cannot still the Tooth
That nibbles at the soul—

—Emily Dickinson

 

 

Pain’s not something I should fear
From feel to think there is no line
Pain got me from there to here

I try to keep my feelings near
What else is completely mine?
Pain’s not something I should fear

My troubles aren’t for you to hear
I’m not the type to sit and whine
Pain got me from there to here

Pain is something I hold dear
Bounty from a winding vine
Pain’s not something I should fear

I think I’ll have another beer
I won’t stop till I’m feeling fine
Pain got me from there to here

My shaking hands must be a sign
All night long my teeth will grind
Pain’s not something I should fear
Pain got me from there to here

by Richard W. Bray

The Hemingway Defense

July 7, 2012

William Faulkner

According to William Faulkner, it is permissible for an artist to engage in all manner of malfeasance and loutish behavior because “An artist is a creature driven by demons.”

The writer’s only responsibility is to his art. He will be completely ruthless if he is a good one. He has a dream. It anguishes him so much he must get rid of it. He has no peace until then. Everything goes by the board: honor, pride, decency, security, happiness, all, to get the book written. If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate; the “Ode on a Grecian Urn” is worth any number of old ladies. (h/t Ta-Nehisi Coates)

It is common for supermacho bibulous writers such as Faulkner, Kingsley Amis, Ernest Hemingway and Christopher Hitchens to confuse self-avoiding cowardice and self-destruction with courage and an intrepid dedication to art. Amis, for example, wrote entire books celebrating the wonders of alcohol. Hitchens thought that crawling into a bottle every day was something to boast about and he was dismissive of people who lack the requisite foolishness to become nicotine addicts. In the sick, sad world of Christopher Hitchens, teetotaling joggers are the real losers.

Stephen King, a man who knows a thing or two about both writing and substance abuse, has a name for the hyper-masculine variety of denial celebrated by various dipsomaniacal American authors: The Hemingway Defense.

as a writer, I am a very sensitive fellow, but I am also a man, and real men don’t give into their sensitivities. Only SISSY-men do that. Therefore I drink. How else can I face the existential horror of it all and continue to work? Besides, come on, I can handle it. A real man always can.*

King explicitly rejects all such poppycock. He argues that “[t]he idea that creative endeavor and mind-altering substances are entwined is one of the great pop-intellectual myths of our time.”

Unlike writers such as Faulkner who lack the necessary self-awareness to confront their “demons,” when given the choice, Stephen King wisely selected his health and his family over the bottle. Thus he has no use in mythologizing the inebriated scribbler.

Substance abusing writers are just substance abusers—common garden-variety drunks and druggies, in other words. Any claims that the drugs and alcohol are necessary to dull a finer sensibility are just the usual self-serving bullshit. I’ve heard alcoholic snowplow drivers make the same claim, that they drink to still the demons.

Faulkner asserts that it is perfectly natural and wholly acceptable for a writer to be a scoundrel because a true artist “is completely amoral in that he will rob, borrow, beg, or steal from anybody and everybody to get the work done.”

Sadly, people who think like Faulkner have gotten existence precisely backwards. As King notes, “Life isn’t a support system for art. It’s the other way around.”

William Faulkner notwithstanding, no art is essential to humanity, and no poem, not even one as lovely as “Ode on a Grecian Urn,” is worth the well-being of a single old lady. Humanity will grope along with or without any particular work of art, and Earth will continue to abide long after we’re gone no matter what we do. It is expressly because everything we do is ephemeral that the artist’s humanity is of far greater value than anything he could possibly create.

Perhaps it is a longing for a false sense of immortality that leads people to engage in such diseased thinking. But it’s important to remember that although Hamlet will continue to live on for as long as humanity is extant, William Shakespeare is just as dead as the fellow buried next to him. As Groucho Marx pithily noted: “What has posterity ever done for me.”

Only love conquers death.

*All Stephen King quotations are from his marvelous memoir On Writing

by Richard W. Bray

Sorry: A Duet of Heartache

June 28, 2012

Daddy said my tender heart
Leads me to pursue
Birds with broken wings
And stray dogs just like you

I’m sorry bout the mixup
I’m sorry I’m a fool
Didn’t mean to spend your birthday
Takin’ shots and shootin’ pool

I’m sorry that you took my car
And wrapped it round a tree
I’m sorry that I hocked my house
And gave my guarantee

I’m sorry I jumped bail
I’m sorry that I ran
I’m sorry that the PeeDee
Found me in my van

Always been I susceptible
To rascals just like you
All it ever got me was
A pocket full of blues

I’m a live tornado
Spewin’ mess and misery
Till I beat the bottle
It’s all I’m gonna be

by Richard W. Bray

Time to Run

April 15, 2012

I don’t care about my marriage
I don’t care about the kids
I don’t care who I hurt
And I don’t care what I did

It’s time to have a bottle
It’s time to have some fun
It’s time to find a woman
And forget the things I done
It’s time to hit the honky tonks
It’s time for me to run

I don’t care how much she loved me
I don’t care about her pain
I don’t care if she gets lonely
I don’t care if she’s sane

It’s time to have a bottle
It’s time to have some fun
It’s time to find a woman
And forget the things I done
It’s time to hit the honky tonks
It’s time for me to run

I don’t care about my daughter
I don’t care bout my son
Growin up without a daddy
Never hurt me none

It’s time to have a bottle
It’s time to have some fun
It’s time to find a woman
And forget the things I done
It’s time to hit the honky tonks
It’s time for me to run

Richard W. Bray

Downright Victimy

May 12, 2011

Downright Victimy

We all know it’s tragic
When a lover gets the boot
Sometimes it’s no biggie
Sometimes it’s acute
I’ve seen guys who got whupped
For bein’ Passion’s slave
And quite a few that drunk themselves
To an early grave
But I ain’t seen’ nuthin’
Like my buddy Billy Ray
He rewrote the Book of Crazy
When his woman run away
With his little brother
On his thirty-third birthday…

He hunts grizzlies with a penknife
He cleans his pistols with his tongue
He rassles crocodiles
He eats salads made of dung
He wears a barb wire choker
He pours gunpowder on eggs
He takes shooters of Tabasco
He drinks malt liquor by the keg


He don’t just look sick to me
The dude is downright victimy
Won’t live to see the next full moon
If he don’t get some help real soon

by Richard W. Bray

Time to Quit

April 30, 2011

Reuben_Hollebon


Time to Quit

I woke up this morning, wishing I was dead
With forty-seven work crews poundin’ in my head
My belly was the site of a nasty civil war
That abruptly ended when I puked right on the floor
My body is revolting and my soul is on the brink
I’d sell everything I own just to buy another drink

I gotta’ plague of reasons
Why it’s time to quit
Livin’ in a snake pit
A feller will get bit
I lost a lovin’ family, three jobs
And half my mind
Been a long, long time
Since I could say that I was fine

Yesterday I got to work at seven forty-five
Three hot cups of coffee, feeling glad to be alive
My boss looked up and yelled, “Just where the hell you been?”
“I’m fifteen minutes early. Hell, that ain’t no sin”
“Actually,” he sneered “You been AWOL for a week
Foreman’s got your severance, you stupid, smelly freak”

I gotta’ plague of reasons
Why it’s time to quit
Livin’ in a snake pit
A feller will get bit
I lost a lovin’ family, three jobs
And half my mind
Been a long, long time
Since I could say that I was fine

My doctor says my liver’s fixin’ to explode
And all my other organs look ninety-three years old
I got so many toxins stuck inside my skin
Bloated up from battles that my body cannot win
If I ain’t hit bottom, I’m dangling by a thread.
I could get some help or I could get a drink instead

I gotta’ plague of reasons
Why it’s time to quit
Livin’ in a snake pit
A feller will get bit
I lost a lovin’ family, three jobs
And half my mind
Been a long, long time
Since I could say that I was fine

by Richard W. Bray