Miscommunication

April 7, 2024

Got a new snork vorple
It's really kuper-kippy
It keeps me wipple-wapple
When the wunk is wappy-wippy

I don't like your gornpop
You're such a norky noobler
The mips are full of zanzi-plips
Don't jim-jomp on the goobler

When I was young, we porpled
We confoobled for a song
But now the nukstips borbalize
And snirkbob all day long

Don't call me a fubble flooper
Just cuz I'm purpipsy
The dinder dob is nabby dab
Someday you'll bloop the blipsy

by Richard W. Bray

impossible to shake

March 29, 2024

I told you I was poor
But you don't want my money
I told you I'm a maniac
You said I'm really funny

I told I was old
You said you think I'm wise
I told I was ugly
You said you like my eyes

I told you I was boring
You said boring's underrated
I told you I was crazy
You said I'm complicated

My jalopy broke down
You said we could bike it
I told you I'm a pervert
You said that's how you like it

I told you I was dumber
Than a box full of wood
You said that deep inside
You know I'm really good

I try to scare you off
Cuz I'm fragile and I break
I could never handle
Another heartache
Nothing seems to work
You're impossible to shake


by Richard W. Bray




such an ordinary guy

March 9, 2024


Like a princess and a peon
Like a duchess and a pawn
They all look at me and you
They don't know what's going on

Like an ocean and puddle
Like a mountain and a hill
Everybody sees the difference
And their angry hearts get ill

Nobody understands
No one else could ever see
What you ever found attractive
In lowly lonesome little me

If you wanna spend your time
With such an ordinary guy

Fortune smiled in my direction
Don't make no sense to wonder why

by Richard W. Bray

Marketing 101 — Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

March 2, 2024

The trouble with market research is that people don’t think what they feel, they don’t say what they think, and they don’t do what they say.
David Oglivy. (1)

According to Richard Shotton, when it comes to making buying decisions, “people often don’t know their genuine motivations.” (2) Shotton describes an experiment conducteded by Adrian North at Leicester University where a supermarket alternated the music they played in their wine aisle. 

When they played German oompah music, 73 percent of the wine they sold was from Germany, and when they played French accordion music, 77 percent of the wine they sold was from France. But 86 percent of wine shoppers claimed that the music had no impact on their decision.

In his book Everybody Lies, researcher Seth Stephens-Davidowitz offers page after page of examples of people saying they want one thing when they really want something else. For example, when Netflix started streaming, they asked people what kind of movies they wanted to watch, and customers would “fill the queue with aspirational, highbrow films, such as black-and-white World War II documentaries or serious foreign films.” 

But it turns out Netflix customers overwhelmingly preferred to watch “lowbrow comedies or romance films.” Stephens-Davidowitz concludes that “People were consistently lying to themselves.”

Human motivation is one of the great mysteries of life, and people are frequently mystified by their own actions. To make sense out of our wacky lives, people just make things up. As social scientist Jonathan Haidt wryly observes: “The conscious mind thinks it’s the oval office, when in reality it’s the press office.” (3)

So What’s a Marketer to Do? 

Research. Research. And more research is the best way to comprehend human motivation. But instead of asking people what they would do in a given situation, you must observe and record their actual behavior. Here are some of the fascinating things researchers have discovered about our species:

  • People are more likely to use a cake mix when they have to add water and an egg instead of just adding water. (4)
  • People are more likely to donate to a cancer charity after you make them wear a Cancer Awareness button for a week. (5)
  • People are more likely to eat ice cream when they’re at the beach, at the movies, or on vacation. (6)
  • “Chilean sea bass” sounds a lot more appetizing than “Patagonian toothfish.” (7)
  • People are much more likely to respond to your emails if you address them as an Influential Trendsetter. (8)
  • Briefly holding a warm beverage in their hands causes people to rate strangers as being more generous and friendly. (9)
  • Evolution has designed humans to crave novelty. (10) Lester Wunderman tells us that NEW is the second most powerful word in advertising, right after FREE. (11)

Maybe I’ll expound on some of these topics in future blog posts if I get a chance. Or maybe I won’t. One of the first rules of advertising is Don’t Overpromise.

by Richard W. Bray

  1. The Dark Art by Rory Sutherland
  2. The Choice Factory by Richard Shotton
  3. The Dark Art by Rory Sutherland
  4. The Illusion of Choice by Richard Shotton 
  5. Using Behavioral Science in Marketing by Nancy Harhut
  6. How Brands Grow by Byron Sharp
  7. The Dark Art by Rory Sutherland
  8. Using Behavioral Science in Marketing by Nancy Harhut
  9. Blindsight by Matt Johnson
  10. Using Behavioral Science in Marketing by Nancy Harhut
  11. Being Direct by Lester Wunderman 

feet on the ground

February 23, 2024

Earth's the right place for love:
I don't know where it's likely to go better.

Robert Frost

Got my feet on the ground
Looking at the stars
Crazy billionaires
Wanna fly away to Mars

Got my feet on the ground
Staring life in the face
Got oodles of compassion
For the human race

Got my feet on the ground
The body is the mind
No more wasted days
With my head in my behind

Got my feet on the ground
Got my head in the game
A flower is a flower
By any other name

Got my feet on the ground
Got my eye on you
Wubba dubba dubba
Woopty doopty do

by Richard W. Bray

by loving you

February 15, 2024

nothing is only one thing
i drink up the rainbow you sing

no one else will understand
the way we talk by holding hands

we have forever to find out
what this thing is all about

there's only one thing i can do
love the world by loving you


by Richard W. Bray

You Ruined My Life—Send Money

February 9, 2024


You're a horrible person
And a deadbeat pop
You wouldn't bail me out
When I ran over that cop

You bought me diamonds and furs
And Lamborghinis
But you won't bribe the judge
You're such a grumpy old meanie

I'm headed for the slammer
It's not very funny
You ruined my life
Send money


On my seventh birthday
I got five hundred dolls
I called you a monster
Cuz I wanted them all

I stomp and I scream
When I don't get my way
Everything's your fault
I'm gonna make you pay

Don't apologize
And don't call me Honey
You ruined my life
Send money


My credit cards are maxed
I can't pay my bills
Who's gonna cover
My parties and pills?

You're a horrible ogre
And a stupid jerk
You said it's time to grow up
Like you expect me to work

You should support my dreams
Come rainy skies or sunny
You ruined my life
Send money


by Richard W. Bray


the smallest things

February 4, 2024

everything is charged
with energy and light
glory grace and grandeur
beyond the realm of sight

hunger and salvation
misery and desire
more than we can handle
too close to the fire

there's a universe of goodness
in the smallest things
kindness is eternal
every moment sings


by Richard W. Bray

let the people heal

January 27, 2024

All the times that I've cried
Keeping everything I knew inside
It's hard
But it's harder to ignore it
Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam)

greed and war and vanity
liars on tv
crooks and phonies
creeps and fools
try and influence me

endless brutality
things i cant unsee
i just need some room to breathe
some space
to be me

cant they hear our cries?
do they know how to feel?
stop the taking
stop the killing
and let the people heal


by Richard W. Bray

Emotion Always Wins (Using Words to Sell Stuff)

January 20, 2024

Reason…can never, of itself, be any motive to the will, and it can have no influence but so far as it touches some passion or affection. Abstract relations of ideas are the object of curiosity, not of volition.
David Hume, super smart Scottish guy who lived in the 18th century

Business schools have long been dominated by a ridiculous notion called rational choice theory, which is basically the idea that people make their buying decisions by carefully weighing the pros and cons.

It should be readily apparent to anyone who knows any actual humans that rational choice theory is a crock because people aren’t rational. Sometimes we arrive at decisions that are rational, but decision-making is not a rational process.

As copywriter extraordinaire Herschell Gordon Lewis points out: "When emotion and intelligence come into conflict, emotion always wins." According to Lewis, a great way to make your advertising copy a heck of a lot more effective is by replacing intellectual words with emotional words.

On pages 38-40 of Lewis’ book Direct Mail Copy That Sells, the author graciously supplies a list of emotional v. intellectual words that “show you how easy it is to shift word choice in favor of emotion."

If you’re a copywriter who wants to convince people to buy stuff – which is, of course, your job – get hold of a copy of Direct Mail Copy That Sells, Xerox pages 38-40, and tape it to your refrigerator.

Here are a few examples of what Lewis is talking about:

Emotional word: build
Intellectual word: construct

Emotional word: tired
Intellectual word: fatigued

Emotional word: eat
Intellectual word: dine

Emotional word: smart
Intellectual word: astute

Emotional word: death
Intellectual word: demise

Herschell Gordon Lewis

by Richard W. Bray