When Friend Became a Verb

January 20, 2015

aaaaaaaaaaaaaafriend

I’ve flattened
Myself
To enable
Your reception
I’ve squished
My essence
Down to two
Dimensions:
A flicker
Of photos
And lists of
Preference

Inspect my life
And accept my life
I hope you
Will select me
As a friend
I’ll accede to
Your request
And I’ll do
My best
To pretend
I really
Know you
Like a friend

by Richard W. Bray

Don’t Wake Me Up for Anything

January 10, 2015

Don’t wake me up for anything
Don’t even say my name
This ain’t the time for pestering
My weak and weary frame

Don’t wake me up for anything
My bedroom is a shrine
Don’t disrupt my napping
My stupor is divine

Don’t wake me up for anything
Don’t halt my brief vacation
No good comes from bedeviling
My blesséd hibernation

Don’t wake me up for anything
I can’t afford to lose
Time set aside for slumbering
Don’t interrupt my snooze

Don’t wake me up for anything
My dreams are grandiose
If the world is ending
Just leave me comatose

by Richard W. Bray

Resources for a Lesson Plan on Tautologies and Circular Reasoning

January 9, 2015

If it sounds country, man, that’s what it is; it’s a country song.

Kris Kristofferson

A tautology is a grammatical construct; circular reasoning is a logical fallacy. The two phenomena are related but not identical.

A tautology is a sentence in which the conclusion is equivalent to its premise. In other words, in a tautology, the predicate can be surmised by reading the subject.

Here are some examples of tautologies:

My mother’s brother is my uncle.

Father Brown is a priest.

It is what it is.

A circular argument occurs when someone affirms her position simply by restating it in different terms. In other words, circular reasoning is an argument where the conclusion depends upon or is equivalent to its premise.

In a circular argument:

X is true because of Y.

and

Y is true because of X.

A circular argument is similar in structure to a tautology, but a circular argument includes causal reasoning (because, therefore, for this reason, etc.).

Here are some examples of circular reasoning:

My mom is terrific because she is wonderful.

People do what Dave tells; therefore, he is a great leader.

I slumbered beyond my assigned wakeup time; that’s why I overslept.

Lesson Evaluation: Explain why the following examples are tautologies, circular arguments, or neither.

Chris Rock is a hilarious comedian because he makes people laugh.

A bartender is a guy who listens to people talk all day.

Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.

Anthony is extremely strong due to his ability to bench press three hundred pounds.

If aliens didn’t create the pyramids then how come pyramids are the product of technology that didn’t exist on earth at that time?

Allen hasn’t had a drink in twenty-three years, but he isn’t really sober because he doesn’t go to AA meetings and he isn’t working the steps.

A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

They are who we thought they were.

If I could tell you, I would let you know.

I stopped eating meat in 1987; that’s what makes me a vegetarian.

by Richard W. Bray

Gossip Rumor Innuendo

January 2, 2015

She’s the kind we gotta watch
Time to take her down a notch
Keeping folks where they belong
Is what makes the village strong

Gossip rumor innuendo
Whisper slander hearsay
Slurs and lies and defamation
Character assassination
Violators gotta pay

The village has to spank her
Words are like an anchor
We police ourselves with hate
Like a bucket full of bait

Gossip rumor innuendo
Whisper slander hearsay
Slurs and lies and defamation
Character assassination
Violators gotta pay

by Richard W. Bray

Scared Little People

December 27, 2014

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaadrne

Our absolutized aversion to dealing with any kind of tragedy imposed from without has truly dark applications. It is precisely this existential-dread level of ass-covering and risk-management that informs the American security state’s adoption of the drone “signature strike,” in which men and perhaps some bystanders near are killed by drone attack even if we have no idea who they are. Their “pattern of life” in Yemen is just deemed too risky for their existence to be endured by the American military. Fire away.

Michael Brendan Dougherty

Scared Little People

Eighty-six hours in stress positions
Those horrible people make us so mean
We burn the tapes of Crucifixion
We glamorize torture on flashing screens
We shrapnel the flesh of people who gather
At weddings and funerals and blitzkrieg scenes
Protecting the lives of people who matter
From monsters who claim to be human beings
We hide from ourselves avoiding detection
Righteous folks we’re pretending to be
That’s not a window; that’s a reflection
That stain on our soul is a shocking decree
What a scared little people we have become
With hearts and brains rendered totally numb

by Richard W. Bray

They Hate Us for Our Sunshine

December 26, 2014

aaaaaaaaahaters

Seems like every time I look at
Some Eastern magazine
Another California-Hater’s
Blowing smoke out of his spleen

They hate us for our happy
They hate our smiling gleam
All those people pissing
On our California Dream

Cheering drought and earthquake
Feeding on their scorn
California-Haters
Watch the news like porn

Huddled by their heaters
I can almost hear them scream
All those people pissing
On our California Dream

Baited by our beaches
Folks come from all around
Y’all stop by; you’re sure to find
Someone from your hometown

They hate us for our sunshine
They hate our happenin scene
All those people pissing
On our California Dream

by Richard W. Bray

Flinging our Souls

December 24, 2014

aaaaaaathrush

I’m goofy for words. And I will happily read and read and read until I find a combination of words which “strikes like a chime through the mind.” Then I will read some more.

Thomas Hardy forges a concoction of meaning, sound, and feeling when he tells us that a singing little bird

Had chosen thus to fling his soul

Of course, every line of “The Darkling Thrush” is a work of art.

Poetry and language are the same thing. Perhaps the people we call poets live the music inside the words with greater intensity than the rest of us do, but all words are music.

Consider the first line of a poem by Emily Dickinson:

From Us She wandered now a Year,

There are a thousand less lovely ways to tell us that a woman has abandoned her family. And the beauty of the sound and rhythm of this line is assaulted by the sadness it conveys.

Here’s the entire poem:

From Us She wandered now a Year,
Her tarrying, unknown,
If Wilderness prevent her feet
Or that Ethereal Zone


No eye hath seen and lived
We ignorant must be—
We only know what time of Year
We took the Mystery.

There are so many things we are not told: Who is this woman? Whom did she abandon? Where? Why? The reader is left to fill in the blanks.

Robert Pinsky proffers a handy metaphor: Novelists wade through words while poets skate on their surface.

by Richard W. Bray

Juliet and Roasted Almonds (by Gwendolyn)

December 23, 2014
Juliet

Juliet

Initially blanch raw almonds:

Bring water to a boil. Pour boiling water over almonds and let sit for 70 seconds. Drain and add almonds to a bowl of iced water for approximately one minute. Drain almonds again and peel. We found it easier to work in 1 to 2 cup batches as almonds peel easier when wet. Additionally, we found that adding one teaspoon of baking soda per cup of water to boiling water helps the almonds’ skin blister and makes them easier to remover. Allow almonds to dry for a bit before roasting.

To roast almonds:

Drizzle Extra Virgin Olive Oil over the almonds and toss to coat. Roast almonds in a preheated 275 degree oven on a rimmed cookie sheet for approximately 40 minutes or until they are honey colored (mixing every so often to be sure that the almonds do not burn). Turn off the oven and open oven door for approximately a minute to lower temperature and allow almonds to dry in oven as the oven cools down. Toss with extra fine sea salt or coarse sea salt depending on preference.

Great Writing Isn’t Alchemy, It’s Hard Work: Alfred Kazin’s Trip to the Beach

December 17, 2014

aaaaaa el

It’s hard for me to believe that people who read very little (or not at all in some cases) should presume to write and expect people to like what they have written, but I know it’s true. If I had a nickel for every person who ever told me he/she wanted to become a writer but “didn’t have time to read,” I could buy myself a pretty good steak dinner.

Steven King (On Writing 147)

As Stephen King notes, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot” (145).

But many people don’t realize that writing is a craft to be mastered. They think it’s some sort of alchemy that mysteriously springs out of one’s experiences. That’s why some people who know very little about writing think they could produce a great memoir or an enticing novel. They love their fabulous lives so much. They are so glamorous, so amusing, and they know so many unique people—the book would practically write itself.

With the application of talent and much work, a great writer can reveal the beauty and complexity of a common experience. In his memoir A Walker in the City, Alfred Kazin relives the train ride to and from Coney Island on a hot summer day:

It was from the El on its way to Coney Island that I caught my first full breath of the city in the open air. Groaning its way past a thousand old Brooklyn red fronts and tranquil awnings, that old train could never go slowly enough for me as I stood on the open platform between the cars, holding on to the gate. In the dead calm of noon, heat mists drifted around the rusty green spires of unknown churches; below, people seemed to kick their heels in the air just a moment before being swept from my sight. With each homey crásh-crásh crásh-crásh of the wheels against the rails, there would steal up at me along the bounding slopes of the awnings the nearness of all those streets in middle Brooklyn named after generals of the Revolutionary War. I tasted the sweetness of summer on every opening in my face. As we came back at night along the El again, the great reward of the long parched day, far better than any massed and arid beach, was the chance to stand up there between the cars, looking down on the quiet streets unrolling below me as we passed. The rusty iron cars ground against each other, protesting they might fall apart at each sharp turn. But in the steady crásh-crásh crásh-crásh there was a comforting homeward sound as the black cars rocked on the rails and more and more men and boys in open shirts came out on the top platform fiercely breathing the wind-changed damp air. In the summer night the city had an easy unstitched look—people sat on the corner watching the flies buzz around the street lamps, or at bedroom windows openly yawning as they stared past us (137-138).

First, notice the extreme paucity of adverbs.

I tell my students that nouns and verbs should do the heavy lifting. When you choose the right nouns and verbs, fewer adjective and adverbs are required.

For example, I could say “My landlord is a mean, ugly, tyrannical, bossy, gruesome, overbearing man.” Or I could simply say “My landlord is an ogre.” The appropriate noun eliminates the need for several adjectives.

And speaking of adjectives, notice how Kazin utilizes several noncordinate adjectives. Coordinate adjectives are parallel, modifying their nouns independently. That’s why we separate them with commas (big, bad John; new, green car). The effect of coordinate adjectives is cumulative; however, noncoordinate adjectives, when properly employed, multiply meaning into something new and beautiful: “first full breath” “rusty green spires” “long parched day” “rusty iron cars” “comforting homeward sound“ “wind-changed damp air” “easy unstitched look.” (Alfred Kazin’s beloved mother was a seamstress.)

I’ve affirmed the elegance of simple sentences. I will repeat myself: I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them. And simple sentences are even more beautiful when they are rare. Like a great jeweler, Kazin positions a gem in the middle of his creation: I tasted the sweetness of summer on every opening in my face.

Notice the strongest character in this paragraph, the anthropomorphized train: “protesting they might fall apart at each sharp turn” “Groaning its way past a thousand old Brooklyn red fronts and tranquil awnings.”

Finally, notice how Kazin plays upon the illusion that world itself is in motion: “people seemed to kick their heels in the air just a moment before being swept from my sight” “streets unrolling below me as we passed.”

by Richard W. Bray

It’s Better to Burst Than Ripple Away

December 10, 2014

aaaaaaacowboy

I’m a rough and tumble cowboy
In a civilized time
My boots are gonna ramble
Till the end of the line
I’ll never be humble
And I’ll never be tame
A man’s gotta rumble
And play his own game

Won’t live a life
That lingers
Till the coals are dust
Always quit the casino
Before I hit bust
Won’t swap my tomorrow
For yesterday
It’s better to burst
Than ripple away

Gotta live in the sunshine
If I wanna survive
I’ll never be yoked
To your nine-to-five
Pity the fool
Who tries to fence me in
I ain’t gonna go
Where I already been

Won’t live a life
That lingers
Till the coals are dust
Always quit the casino
Before I hit bust
Won’t swap my tomorrow
For yesterday
It’s better to burst
Than ripple away

by Richard W. Bray