Archive for the ‘Poetry for Kids’ Category

Hadley McNutter

August 12, 2014

1000_yard_spaghetti_stare

When Hadley McNutter
Mumbles and Mutters
He makes the ground tremble
And gives me the shudders

This ogre from hell
Ain’t your typical tyrant
When Hadley explodes
He erupts like a hydrant

He tramples and tromps
Like a like a lumbering giant
He rumbles and romps
Like monster defiant

When Hadley is hungry
We both rush to feed him
Such a wonderful burden—
How much we need him

He gets what he wants
And I don’t mean maybe
It’s hard to believe
That he’s merely a baby

by Richard W. Bray

Happy-Spangled Day

May 1, 2014

Cute happy boy in red baseball cap

Fresh and springy
Sunny day
Flowers pushing
Up to say
“Live your
Happy-spangled day
And mosey on
Your special way”

Burst it out
And don’t be coy
Smell the colors
Live the joy
Be a playful
Bouncy boy
The universe
Will be your toy

by Richard W. Bray

Non-Apology Apology

April 17, 2014

bad manners

I ate your lunch, but don’t you see?
You left it right in front of me
I’m sorry that you’re feeling cross
I’m sorry but you’re not my boss

All my friends thought it was funny
When I dipped your phone in honey
I’m sorry you can’t take a joke
I’m sorry you’re a stodgy bloke

I’ll raise some hell and make a fuss
I’ll fart and belch and shout and cuss
I’m sorry if you think I’m rude
I’m sorry you’re a silly prude

As long as everyone is free
I’ll be the man I want to be
I’m sorry you’re hung up on rules
I’m sorry you were raised by fools

by Richard W. Bray

Grab a Breath

July 27, 2013

kidsromp

Grab a breath
Let it out
Make some noise
Stomp and shout

Clickity-clack, snicker-snack, holly-jolly, sing song
Whickity-whack, pitter-pat, golly-molly, ding dong
Bippity-bap, sunny-snap, wimple-wumple, voodoo
Dippity-dap, bunny-tap, fimple-fample, hoo-doo

It’s your day
Don’t be shy
Act before
It passes by

Clickity-clack, snicker-snack, holly-jolly, sing song
Whickity-whack, pitter-pat, golly-molly, ding dong
Bippity-bap, sunny-snap, wimple-wumple, voodoo
Dippity-dap, bunny-tap, fimple-fample, hoo-doo

Now’s the time
Wait no more
Live your rhyme
Let it roar

Clickity-clack, snicker-snack, holly-jolly, sing song
Whickity-whack, pitter-pat, golly-molly, ding dong
Bippity-bap, sunny-snap, wimple-wumple, voodoo
Dippity-dap, bunny-tap, fimple-fample, hoo-doo

by Richard W. Bray

Alliterative Animal Kingdom

April 8, 2013

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Round the rampant rugged rocks
Rude and ragged rascals run.

W.H. Auden

Queasy koalas quarrel and quibble
Noisy gnus nag and nibble
Hefty horses heave and hoe
Shameless sheep shop and show

Playful pigs prance and preen
Careful cats cook and clean
Dancing dogs dally and drink
Thirteen thoroughbreds thank and think

Buoyant bunnies broil and bake
Rampant rhinos rush and rake
Slippery seals splash and splish
While wayward weasels wonder and wish

by Richard W. Bray

My Monkey Makes my Mother Mad

March 16, 2013

I had no idea what I was doing when I began the project that eventually culminated in this blog. Looking back on it, I’m reminded of the character played by Richard Dreyfuss in the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind who was compelled to mindlessly build that miniature mountain inside his house. I just had to do something, but I really didn’t know what or why.

So I kept writing and reading about writing. And I took some English classes at Cal Poly Pomona. Then one of my professors, Dr. Carola Kaplan, suggested I apply for their MA program. (She advised that if I continued to take classes, sooner or later I would “accumulate” a Master’s Degree.) Many of the longer articles on this blog began as academic papers.

I continued to write until my computer was constipated. So I read the books on how to write the perfect cover letter and I sent out queries and more queries. And all that ever got me was shoe-boxes full of rejection letters.

After more than a decade of unrequited querying, I finally went on an Open Thread at Ta-Nehisi Coates’ blog and asked the nice people there how much it would cost to start my own blog. When they told me it was free I said, “Thank you so much. If I had known that, I would have gotten myself a blog years ago.”

Sometimes I begin writing a poem knowing exactly what I want to say and it turns out just like I planned. Sometimes. Other times I set out to write something, but I end up writing something else. And sometimes I think I have a long way to go when the poem suddenly informs me that I’m finished.

And sometimes I start with an idea that’s bugging me or just a single word. (I began this poem thinking about how much I like the word notion.) Other times an entire line will pop into my head. Once a line zipped across my brain, but I ignored it. A few days later it returned—louder. It wasn’t until I sat down at my computer and typed it up that I realized that the line was entirely alliterative: My monkey makes my mother mad. But I didn’t know what the poem was going to be about until I had finished writing the first stanza.

My Funny Farm

My monkey makes my mother mad
He also aggravates my dad
He took his car the other day
And drove it to the Hudson Bay

My kitty cat is kooky too
He likes to strut down to the zoo
And tell the tigers to all stand back
If they don’t want to get attacked

I have a hamster named Houdini
And though he is rather teeny
He’ll quickly pick a thousand locks
You could not hold him in Fort Knox

My kangaroo’s a real joker
Up all night playing poker
His friends come to destroy the house
I think I shoulda’ got a mouse

I got a hippo last July
He really is one swell guy
Everything he does is super
I got a giant pooper scooper

Living on this funny farm
I know my pets don’t mean no harm
But both my parents moved away
And no one wants to come and play

Richard W. Bray

Myrtle Myers Redux

March 8, 2013

Shel-silverstein

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I took an English class from a poet named Robert Pinsky. (Actually, it was at Berkeley in the mid 1980s, but many Northern Californians would argue that Orange County is about as far away from Berkeley as I could get.) Since that time, Mr. Pinsky has received a great deal of well-deserved acclaim. Thus I frequently see him on my tv promoting poetry. A few years back I heard Pinsky say that whenever someone asks him about when he started writing poetry, he responds by asking: “When did you stop?”

I stopped writing poetry in sixth grade and took it up again about twenty years later.

Here’s what happened: I was teaching at a boys home in a special education program for SED (Severely Emotionally Disturbed) students, which was quite an education for me. These kids were intimate with poverty, violence, addiction, rape and murder in ways I will never comprehend. (Actually, I do know a thing or two about addiction.)

Sometimes they would tease me by asking me if I were “street.”
“Of course I am.” I would reply.
“Where you from? Inglewood, Nickerson Gardens, South Central?”
“That’s it,” I’d say. “I’m from South Central Claremont.”

I’ll never know how much good I did working with those kids, and the only life I saved was my own. But it did lead me back to writing poetry. The most coveted book in our meager little school library was Where the Sidewalk Ends, a collection of funny poems by Shel Silverstein. It is a work of immense skill.

In a state of profound ignorance regarding what such a task would entail, I decided that I wanted to write a book like Where the Sidewalk Ends. So I went to the library and got some books on verse, meter, and rhyme. Some time thereafter, although I still barely even understood what poetry was, I somehow sat down at my EMachine and wrote “Myrtle Myers.”

I’ve read a bunch of poetry and thousands of pages of criticism since then. I even went out and got myself a Master’s Degree in Literature. But I don’t think I’ve ever written anything better than “Myrtle Myers.”

“Myrtle Myers” is, of course, a very conservative poem. (How did that happen?) It was not written as an allegory, but it sure reads like one. When I wrote it, however, I was mostly thinking about the power of denial, a major theme on this blog.

Myrtle Myers

Myrtle Myers bought some pliers
At the hardware store
She took them home and all alone
She broke down the door

The next day she found a way
To make the toilet flood
She took a wrench from daddy’s bench
And made a great big thud

Unperturbed, her mother purred
“Well, girls they will be girls
All this rage is just a stage
She has such darling curls”

Then Myrtle took an evil look
At her mother’s dress
It made her think and with some ink
She made a lovely mess

Yet with rage unassauged
She shaved her sister’s head
With kerosene and gasoline
She burned her brother’s bed

Undistressed, her father guessed
“It’s just a child at play
They’re just jealous, those who tell us
To have her put away”

Her parents planned a party grand
Just to celebrate
Her twelfth birthday, and by the way
Myrtle showed up late

No girls nor boys bearing toys
Decided to attend
Although assured the girl was cured
They feared their lives might end

As her family huddled, scared and befuddled
By her piercing stare
Myrtle growled and then she howled
“I publicly declare

“This can’t be true! What did you do
To make them stay away?
You’ll all be blue and live to rue
This catastrophic day!”

Myrtle made a bomb that day
Intending to destroy
Her own home town and miles around
And every girl and boy

But in her hurry, she forgot to scurry
Away from her invention
She’s gone away, I’m sad to say
Results of ill intention

Her parents pleaded all she needed
Was love and understanding
And though it’s true that we all do
Life is more demanding

It takes affection to give direction
And most kids do not mind
Those restrictions and prohibitions
Which seem to some unkind

Richard W. Bray

The Terror of Suffix County

March 2, 2013

1-5

Annie’s destructful brother
Is a boogerypoopish mess.
Others have botherly brothers,
But Willie’s a vexsome pest.

Annie’s funtastic birthday
Was a jubilatious delight
Till Willie stealthed into her bedroom
Beneath the dimful light.

When the girls were finally sleepish
They detectified Willie’s disguise.
He was costumated in undies.
The girls were were horrorized.

Annie was fully rageistic.
Screamfully, she cried:
Abandonate this monster.
He must be porchified.”

Her parents wisefully noted
That though they were temptified,
They’d be keeping her boisterly brother.
Annie felt beastish inside.

Richard W. Bray

Drastic Measures

January 19, 2013

pebble in shoe

I got a pebble in my shoe
Don’t know what I’m gonna do
My tootsie cannot take the pain
My tender toes will go insane

It ouches every step I take
I cannot move, for goodness sake
Now I’m gonna sit a spell
And think of ways my pain to quell:

I could wait till it’s not sore
I could crawl forevermore

I could sit and never rise
I could fill the world with cries

I could look on the computer
I could hire a troubleshooter

I could call my family doctor
I could buy a helicopter

I could moan and wail and beg
I could amputate my leg

I just thought what I should do:
I could just remove my shoe
And pour that pebble on the floor…
Now my foot don’t hurt no more

Richard W. Bray

Lost

January 2, 2013

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I checked the desk
I checked the drawer
I checked the chair
I checked the door
I checked my suit
I checked my coat
I checked my truck
I checked my boat

Where can they be
Those blasted keys?
Where would I be
If I were keys?

I looked here
And I looked there
I even said
A little prayer
I looked sooner
I looked later
I even checked
My ‘frigerator

Did I put them in my pants?
Or did I leave them in my car?
They can run and they can hide
But they will not get very far

Richard W. Bray