Posts Tagged ‘Country Music Lyrics’

Decent Wholesome People

August 7, 2010

Decent Wholesome People

Eating tofu sandwiches
And playing tambourines
A hippie dippy scoundrel
In your tie-dye blouse and jeans
Shaggy hair and sandals
And a peace sign on your shirt
Just another sissy weirdo
Making free love in the dirt
Go find a tree to hug
Like all those other hairy clones
You don’t love nature
You’re just stoned

You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee

A long beard and a trench-coat
And a silly red beret
Don’t make an intellectual
I’m thinking you look pretty gay
Your existential posturing
Don’t score no cred with me
You’ve toured fifty-seven colleges
But you ain’t go no degree
Just an over-read degenerate
With too many student loans
You ain’t no genius
You’re just stoned

You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee

You got a creepy congregation
Full of lunatics and fools
To follow you around
And let you make up all the rules
You’re a phony and a faker
And a huckster and a fraud
Just going on and on ’bout
Your relationship with God
You couldn’t quote two words of scripture
From a book you never owned
You ain’t no prophet
You’re just stoned

You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee

by Richard W. Bray

So Many Fishes

July 22, 2010

So Many Fishes

Well I was drinkin’ whiskey outside my local bar
When a fine young Southern beauty pulled up in her car
I sidled right up to her just as suave as I could be
To offer her a chance to share my splendid company
I said, “Hello Little Darling, how exactly do you do?
I reckon that you realize that I’m the beau for you
So sit your fine young body on the hood of my car
And I’ll take the time to tell you just how cute you are.”

That beauty just looked up at me
Without a hint of sympathy
And opened up her lovely mouth
I couldn’t believe what done come out:

You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom

Well one bad apple don’t deter a buck like me
Cuz there’s so many fishes in the deep blue sea
So I stepped inside the bar and had myself a seat
I was scoping out some honeys, the kind I love to meet
When I spied the type of vixen who couldn’t resist my charms
It was my duty as a gentleman to sweep her in my arms
I said, “Now hey there darling, where’ve you been all my life?
Your stunning gracious beauty, it cuts me like a knife.”

The buxom bombshell turned on me
Consumed with vile hostility
And in the course of one deep breath
Explained how much she’d love my death:

You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom

by Richard W. Bray

Dirty Filthy People

July 3, 2010

Dirty Filthy People

The way that girl was dressed
I bet her mama would be pleased
Like I keep on telling you
This world is just diseased.

It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things

Now just check out them yungins’
Out in public suckin’ face
Such putrid exhibitions
Are a national disgrace

It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things

When I’m at home relaxin’
And I turn on my teevee
Every manner of perversion
Is the only thing I see

It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things

I try to get away
But even when I close my eyes
I’m consumed with nasty thoughts of
All those other girls and guys

It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things

by Richard W. Bray

Come Home, America

June 23, 2010

Come Home, America

We’re crossing seas in search of dragons
And other beasts to slay
Come home, America
Time to discover our own way

Solving other people’s problems
Is an errand meant for fools
Come home, America
It ain’t our job to make the rules

Dropping drones on wedding parties
Ain’t the best way to make friends
Come home, America
We have better gifts to send

Puffy, pasty pundits send
Our youngsters off to die
Come home, America
Before our nation is bled dry

We’re blowing up other countries
Instead of fixing up our own
Come home, America
Time to cast away the stones

We have so much to offer
But we ain’t the world’s cop
Come home, America
This madness has to stop

Decline and dissolution
Don’t have to be our fate
Come home, America
I hope it’s not too late

by Richard W. Bray

You

June 13, 2010

You

If I sat down and made a list
For no else to read:
Comfort, love, security
And all the things I need
To make it in this cold, cold world
And heal me when I bleed
I’d save myself some paper
And a bunch of pens
Just by looking at your picture
Once more and again

I knew gals who stood me up
And gals that made me blue
But no one I ever met before was you

I loved girls who did me right
And girls that loved me true
But no one I ever met before was you

So there ain’t no sense in listing
All the things you do for me
My time is better spent
Being the best man I can be

I knew gals who made me cry
And gals that were untrue
But no one I ever met before was you

I loved girls who made my bed
And girls that shined my shoes
But no one I ever met before was you

by Richard W. Bray

How do I Say?

April 29, 2010


How do I Say?

How do I say when it’s over
I meant every word that I said
When the world we knew is dissolving
And the love we shared is dead?

How do I tell you it matters
The joy you brought to my life
When the dreams that we shared are all shattered
And you’ll never be my wife?

How can I tell you I’ll miss you
Every day for as long as I live
When the well that we drank from is empty
And nothing is left to give?

I don’t blame you if you hate me
Cuz’ right now I hate me too
I hate the whole damn world
For what I did to you

I just want to see you happy
But there ain’t nuthin’ I can do
Neither one of us will be happy
Till we get past me and you

Someday when you’re not lonely
Cuz’ you’ve found a better man
I just hope you will remember
When my heart was in your hands

by Richard W. Bray

Just Tell me that I’m Coming Home

December 27, 2009

bbbbsoldier

Just Tell me that I’m Coming Home

I just got my orders
To head overseas
Well, I will get right on it
At your service, KMD

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me Jesus loves me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

I signed up to guard my family
And watch them in their sleep
Politicians mocked my uniform
And sent me to Tikrit

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me Jesus loves me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

When I asked my sergeant,
“Can we go home some time?”
He just said, “Stay frosty
And toe the f—ing line!”

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me that Jesus me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

I’ll drink whiskey and dance a tango
When I get back to town
Don’t reckon that will happen
Before the leaves turn brown

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me that God loves me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

I could get my head blown off
Or come home with a stump
Or KBR could fry my balls
Next time I take a dump

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me that God loves me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

I’ve seen buddies blown to bits
I’ve heard children cry
For parents who ain’t coming back
But who can tell me why?

Don’t tell me that I’m fighting
For peace and liberty
And the future of the Free World
It all depends on me
Don’t tell me Jesus loves me
For going over there
Just tell me that I’m coming home
That’s all I wanna’ hear

by Richard W. Bray

An Excellent Place to Meet Losers

December 20, 2009

An Excellent Place to Meet Losers

Somehow the blue and the bluer
Straggled on in from the street
This place might not look like a sewer
But it reeks with the stench of defeat

Such an
Excellent place to meet losers
And guys who abandoned their wives
And staggering babbling bruisers
And people who screwed up their lives

There’s plenty of cursin’ and fussin’
But at least we all can agree
The most suitable barroom discussion:
The drunk who’s more worse off than me

Such an
Excellent place to meet losers
And guys who abandoned their wives
And staggering babbling bruisers
And people who screwed up their lives

Don’t ask me just how I got here
I don’t like to live in the past
I’m happy so long as I got beer
I’m certain this won’t be my last

Such an
Excellent place to meet losers
And guys who abandoned their wives
And staggering babbling bruisers
And people who screwed up their lives

So if you are looking for sinners
Grasping at bottles and straws
Or hopelessly gossiping grinners
And people who broke every law

Check out this
Excellent place to meet losers
And guys who abandoned their wives
And staggering babbling bruisers
And people who screwed up their lives

by Richard W. Bray

May God Bless America

October 13, 2009

bbbbskel

(When I was a kid, Red Skelton once told the audience at the end of his show that he got a lot of letters asking why he always ended his show by saying, “Goodnight and God Bless You.” Skelton said that this was incorrect because he would never presume to tell God what to do. What he actually said at the end of each broadcast was “Goodnight and may God bless.” )

May God Bless America

You know I love my country and I’m thankful ever’ day
That I was born right here in the good ole USA
This ain’t the kind of country where we bow to kings and queens
We appreciate the dignity of every human being
I say God bless America because it is my home
A paradise of riches where I am free to roam

May God bless America, the country of my birth
May God Bless America, and everyone on Earth
May God bless America, the mighty and the meek
And anyone who’s not afraid to turn the other cheek

I know that God is righteous, He is loving, and He’s wise
He knows when every sparrow falls, when every baby cries
Now God don’t pick no favorites, I’d never ask Him to
He loves a Hindu or a Muslim as much as me or you
God welcomes every creature. No one is born cursed
He blesses every speck of dust in the whole universe

May God bless America, the country of my birth
May God Bless America, and everyone on Earth
May God bless America, the mighty and the meek
And anyone who’s not afraid to turn the other cheek

by Richard W. Bray

I Liked You so much Better when You didn’t have a Clue

August 25, 2009

 

 

A friend is the old old tale of Narcissus
–W.H. Auden

I Liked You so much Better when You didn’t have a Clue

Seen ya’ ‘round town these days—I confess you’re looking good
You eat right and sleep at night like a feller should
Who’da ever guessed that such a loser could
Turn it all around—I recommend you knock on wood

I liked you so much better when you didn’t have a clue
Since you’ve pulled yourself together I don’t know what to do
It’s painful to consider but I must admit it’s true
It gave me so much comfort when I looked down on you

I heard that you quit drinkin’ and stayin’ out till dawn
I saw you Sunday morning mowin’ your own lawn
I seen you with a brunette and a redhead and a blonde
And every indication is you got it goin’ on

I liked you so much better when you didn’t have a clue
Since you’ve pulled yourself together I don’t know what to do
It’s painful to consider but I must admit it’s true
It gave me so much comfort when I looked down on you

Well I’ll go out tonight and probably drink until I puke
If I don’t get arrested I’ll endure severe rebuke
I never thought I’d say this, but why can’t I be you?
Whole world’s turnin’ upside down, what’s a guy t’do?

I liked you so much better when you didn’t have a clue
Since you’ve pulled yourself together I don’t know what to do
It’s painful to consider but I must admit it’s true
It gave me so much comfort when I looked down on you

by Richard W. Bray