So Many Fishes
Well I was drinkin’ whiskey outside my local bar
When a fine young Southern beauty pulled up in her car
I sidled right up to her just as suave as I could be
To offer her a chance to share my splendid company
I said, “Hello Little Darling, how exactly do you do?
I reckon that you realize that I’m the beau for you
So sit your fine young body on the hood of my car
And I’ll take the time to tell you just how cute you are.”
That beauty just looked up at me
Without a hint of sympathy
And opened up her lovely mouth
I couldn’t believe what done come out:
You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom
Well one bad apple don’t deter a buck like me
Cuz there’s so many fishes in the deep blue sea
So I stepped inside the bar and had myself a seat
I was scoping out some honeys, the kind I love to meet
When I spied the type of vixen who couldn’t resist my charms
It was my duty as a gentleman to sweep her in my arms
I said, “Now hey there darling, where’ve you been all my life?
Your stunning gracious beauty, it cuts me like a knife.”
The buxom bombshell turned on me
Consumed with vile hostility
And in the course of one deep breath
Explained how much she’d love my death:
You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom
by Richard W. Bray
Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog 