My life’s in shambles
Brass tacks and brambles
Rumblin’ around in my heart
I’m losing my balance
And drinking up gallons
Since you and me been apart
I’m stuck in my bed
I done lost my head
My get-up-and-go fell apart
I’m hazy and dazy
Wayward and crazy
I really ain’t actin’ too smart
I’m busting up bars
And crashing my car
It’s time for rehab to start
My life’s in shambles
Brass tacks and brambles
Rumblin’ around in my heart
by Richard W. Bray
I won’t be there
To watch you grow
And share your life with you
I’ve given up
The right to know
About everything you do
I lost my chance
To be with you
And see you every day
To see you smile
And hear you cry
And learn from what you say
The memory
The times we had
Feel like a missing limb
I can’t get back
To where we were
I never will again
by Richard W. Bray
Decent Wholesome People
Eating tofu sandwiches
And playing tambourines
A hippie dippy scoundrel
In your tie-dye blouse and jeans
Shaggy hair and sandals
And a peace sign on your shirt
Just another sissy weirdo
Making free love in the dirt
Go find a tree to hug
Like all those other hairy clones
You don’t love nature
You’re just stoned
You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee
A long beard and a trench-coat
And a silly red beret
Don’t make an intellectual
I’m thinking you look pretty gay
Your existential posturing
Don’t score no cred with me
You’ve toured fifty-seven colleges
But you ain’t go no degree
Just an over-read degenerate
With too many student loans
You ain’t no genius
You’re just stoned
You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee
You got a creepy congregation
Full of lunatics and fools
To follow you around
And let you make up all the rules
You’re a phony and a faker
And a huckster and a fraud
Just going on and on ’bout
Your relationship with God
You couldn’t quote two words of scripture
From a book you never owned
You ain’t no prophet
You’re just stoned
You hardly qualify as human
Should be locked up in a zoo
So decent wholesome people
Won’t be exposed to what you do
Only true Americans
Who look and act like me
Should be allowed to walk around
Or seen on the teevee
by Richard W. Bray
So Many Fishes
Well I was drinkin’ whiskey outside my local bar
When a fine young Southern beauty pulled up in her car
I sidled right up to her just as suave as I could be
To offer her a chance to share my splendid company
I said, “Hello Little Darling, how exactly do you do?
I reckon that you realize that I’m the beau for you
So sit your fine young body on the hood of my car
And I’ll take the time to tell you just how cute you are.”
That beauty just looked up at me
Without a hint of sympathy
And opened up her lovely mouth
I couldn’t believe what done come out:
You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom
Well one bad apple don’t deter a buck like me
Cuz there’s so many fishes in the deep blue sea
So I stepped inside the bar and had myself a seat
I was scoping out some honeys, the kind I love to meet
When I spied the type of vixen who couldn’t resist my charms
It was my duty as a gentleman to sweep her in my arms
I said, “Now hey there darling, where’ve you been all my life?
Your stunning gracious beauty, it cuts me like a knife.”
The buxom bombshell turned on me
Consumed with vile hostility
And in the course of one deep breath
Explained how much she’d love my death:
You don’t look that good
Your eyes ain’t blue
You dance like a mule
And you smell funny too
You pants are too short
Your hair’s too long
You don’t wash your car
And you never clean your bong
You ain’t been to school
To learn good grammar
Most of your kin
Is livin’ in the slammer
You ain’t got no job
You live with your mom
And I wouldn’t date
Any Harry, Dick, or Tom
by Richard W. Bray
Dirty Filthy People
The way that girl was dressed
I bet her mama would be pleased
Like I keep on telling you
This world is just diseased.
It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Now just check out them yungins’
Out in public suckin’ face
Such putrid exhibitions
Are a national disgrace
It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
When I’m at home relaxin’
And I turn on my teevee
Every manner of perversion
Is the only thing I see
It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
I try to get away
But even when I close my eyes
I’m consumed with nasty thoughts of
All those other girls and guys
It gets my blood to boiling
Ever’ time I think
Of dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
Slimy scummy devils
Who make the whole world stink
Dirty filthy people doing dirty filthy things
by Richard W. Bray
Come Home, America
We’re crossing seas in search of dragons
And other beasts to slay
Come home, America
Time to discover our own way
Solving other people’s problems
Is an errand meant for fools
Come home, America
It ain’t our job to make the rules
Dropping drones on wedding parties
Ain’t the best way to make friends
Come home, America
We have better gifts to send
Puffy, pasty pundits send
Our youngsters off to die
Come home, America
Before our nation is bled dry
We’re blowing up other countries
Instead of fixing up our own
Come home, America
Time to cast away the stones
We have so much to offer
But we ain’t the world’s cop
Come home, America
This madness has to stop
Decline and dissolution
Don’t have to be our fate
Come home, America
I hope it’s not too late
by Richard W. Bray
You
If I sat down and made a list
For no else to read:
Comfort, love, security
And all the things I need
To make it in this cold, cold world
And heal me when I bleed
I’d save myself some paper
And a bunch of pens
Just by looking at your picture
Once more and again
I knew gals who stood me up
And gals that made me blue
But no one I ever met before was you
I loved girls who did me right
And girls that loved me true
But no one I ever met before was you
So there ain’t no sense in listing
All the things you do for me
My time is better spent
Being the best man I can be
I knew gals who made me cry
And gals that were untrue
But no one I ever met before was you
I loved girls who made my bed
And girls that shined my shoes
But no one I ever met before was you
by Richard W. Bray
How do I Say?
How do I say when it’s over
I meant every word that I said
When the world we knew is dissolving
And the love we shared is dead?
How do I tell you it matters
The joy you brought to my life
When the dreams that we shared are all shattered
And you’ll never be my wife?
How can I tell you I’ll miss you
Every day for as long as I live
When the well that we drank from is empty
And nothing is left to give?
I don’t blame you if you hate me
Cuz’ right now I hate me too
I hate the whole damn world
For what I did to you
I just want to see you happy
But there ain’t nuthin’ I can do
Neither one of us will be happy
Till we get past me and you
Someday when you’re not lonely
Cuz’ you’ve found a better man
I just hope you will remember
When my heart was in your hands
by Richard W. Bray
Plum Outta Luck
I got up on Sunday morning after six straight double-shifts
Just another week for an American working stiff
I planned to spend my Sabbath restin’ weary bones
When my wife burst in and shouted in an abusin’ tone:
“Now get your lazy butt out of that comfy bed
I’ve got fifty-seven errands for you to run instead”
It’s time to…
Clean the chimney, mend the roof and then go wash my car.
Stop thinkin’ bout your buddies at that redneck bar
Fix the hammock, scrub the barn and then go paint the fence
How did I marry such a fool without a lick of sense?
Feed the chickens, mow the lawn, and then go stack some wood
I shoulda’ listened when they told me you weren’t any good
And if you thinka’ boltin’ well, you’re plum outta’ luck
Cuz I unhooked the battery from your old red truck
I staggered to the kitchen for my morning cup of Jo
And wondered how my life became this gruesome tale of woe
I did a load of dishes and scrambled me some eggs
How did I get to feelin’ like a dog that always begs?
I gathered up the gumption to tell my darling wife
That I didn’t have the strength to move just to save my life
That’s when she said…
Clean the chimney, mend the roof and then go wash my car.
Stop thinkin’ bout your buddies at that redneck bar
Fix the hammock, scrub the barn and then go paint the fence
How did I marry such a fool without a lick of sense?
Feed the chickens, mow the lawn, and then go stack some wood
I shoulda’ listened when they told me you weren’t any good
And if you thinka’ boltin’ well, you’re plum outta’ luck
Cuz I unhooked the battery from your old red truck
Well I looked up at her and said “This really ain’t the time
I been workin’ myself ragged for every single dime
I’m sorry to disappoint you dear, but I did my best
If you think you could do better, then baby be my guest”
Then I unhooked the battery from my darlin’s car
If anybody calls I’ll be down at my redneck bar
Cuz I won’t…
Clean the chimney, mend the roof and I won’t go wash your car.
I’m busy with my buddies at my redneck bar
I won’t fix the hammock, scrub the barn and I won’t paint the fence
Now I may be a fool, but I least I got the sense
Not to feed the chickens, mow the lawn, and then go stack some wood
I shoulda’ listened when they told me you weren’t any good
And if you think that you can stop me well, you’re plum outta’ luck
Cuz I just hooked up your battery to my old red truck
by Richard W. Bray
Better Than I Ever Dreamed
Well life is short
And death is long
And things can get so bleak
If you don’t have the right someone
To listen when you speak
Somehow I hit the jackpot
When I found this gal
She’s a lover and a confidant
And such a perfect pal
She’s saving her best undies
And other secret sundries
She’s saving her best undies
For me
I’m such a lucky feller
And every day I tell her
She’s just the girl I needed her
To be
Well I’ve searched every corner
Of this rock in space
And I’ve sampled all varieties
Of the human race
I ain’t been disappointed
By all the gals I knew
But this old world ain’t never seen
Love like I have
With you
She’s saving her best undies
And other secret sundries
She’s saving her best undies
For me
I’m such a lucky feller
And every day I tell her
Better than I ever dreamed a gal
Could be
by Richard W. Bray
Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog 