I’ve got a long list of real good reasons
For all the things I’ve done
—Willie Nelson
Chores
I didn’t do the dishes
Cuz the water’s awful mucky
And it wrinkles up my digits
And it’s really rather yucky
I did not rake the yard
Cuz I didn’t wanna blister
If you need a beast of burden
You should get my little sister
I did not clean my room
Cuz I’ll just mess it up again
It’s simply Sisyphean
Why can’t you comprehend?
Your nagging and your pleading
Make you sound like such a bore
Now fetch me up some vittles
And then finish all my chores
At the House of Arts and Letters
Girls like to play with their brains
Where unconstrained by fetters
They pursue artistic gains
Penny perfects petunias
Tiffany tinkers with time
Stephanie celebrates sonnets
While Marian meters out rhyme
Gertrude grows geraniums
Constance combats crime
Anastasia anticipates aliens
While Lucy levitates limes
Dora deciphers documents
And Molly mimics a mime
Hortense handles the holograms
While Sally solidifies slime
If you should stop by for a visit
Leave toys and dollies behind
Their favorite game—what is it?
The wonderful world of the mind
You’re nasty, unnerving, disgusting, and icky
Revolting, repellent, distasteful and vile
You’re ghastly and grody, repulsive and sickly
You’re someone that I must live to revile
You’re not worth my time and better forgotten
You’re rancid, repugnant, rude, and morose
You’re hellish and horrid and morally rotten
You’re loathsome, disturbing, horrific and gross
You do not agree with all my presumptions
You’re heinous and beastly, obnoxious and wrong
I roundly renounce your detestable gumption
A mental asylum is where you belong
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