Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog

Excuses, Excuses

Wonderful to see you
Wish I had more time
But I’ve been called upon to solve
Some uncommitted crime

Yesterday my fish died
Hope you understand
The funeral arrangements
Turned out to be quite grand

Sensible precautions
Clearly do dictate
It’s time to walk my hamster
The hour is getting late

Sadly, duty beckons
It’s my privilege to attend
A gathering to honor
An unnamed future friend

Saturday my car broke
When I drove across the street
And I could walk to greet you
If I didn’t have two sore feet

Happily, I promise
(Assuming I’m around)
To make time to see you
The next time you’re in town

by Richard W. Bray

Fastidious Fred

Fastidious Fred makes his own bed
It takes him half an hour
And you can bet, if he breaks a sweat
He always takes a shower

Everyone knows, he irons his clothes
Until they look like new
“It takes all day,” he likes to say,
“But what’s a guy to do?”

“I demand perfection beyond detection
And will not tolerate
Things deficient or insufficient
Or somehow second rate”

He had a wife, the light of his life
But she did not make the cut
He sent her away one rainy day
When the door was improperly shut

“It may sound cruel, but I need my rules
They bring order to my life
Discipline and a strict regimen
Protect me from chaos and strife”

Fred lives alone in an immaculate home
And no one comes to see him
His house is clean and downright pristine
But no one wants to be him

by Richard W. Bray