Fastidious Fred

Fastidious Fred

Fastidious Fred makes his own bed
It takes him half an hour
And you can bet, if he breaks a sweat
He always takes a shower

Everyone knows, he irons his clothes
Until they look like new
“It takes all day,” he likes to say,
“But what’s a guy to do?”

“I demand perfection beyond detection
And will not tolerate
Things deficient or insufficient
Or somehow second rate”

He had a wife, the light of his life
But she did not make the cut
He sent her away one rainy day
When the door was improperly shut

“It may sound cruel, but I need my rules
They bring order to my life
Discipline and a strict regimen
Protect me from chaos and strife”

Fred lives alone in an immaculate home
And no one comes to see him
His house is clean and downright pristine
But no one wants to be him

by Richard W. Bray

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One Response to “Fastidious Fred”

  1. An Interview on Writing Lyrics and Verse with Richard W. Bray Conducted by Richard W. Bray | Laughter hope sock in the eye's Blog Says:

    […] Sometimes. But more often I write about the types of people and behaviors which annoy me. “Fastidious Fred”, for example. The genesis of that poem was a news feature I watched about an extremely uptight […]

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