Correct Like Me

Etiquette preserves our nation
Manners keep our culture strong
Rules defend our civilization
From hordes of folk who don’t belong

Select utensils one by one
Outside-in from plates and dishes
Don’t scandalize your lovely Mum
With a salad fork to eat your fishes

A striped tie with a checkered shirt
Constitutes a fashion crime
When you dress wrong my eyeballs hurt
No white pants in the wintertime

Don’t wash hands in the kitchen sink
Don’t serve steak with Chardonnay
Match your meals with your drinks
And you’ll make partner some sweet day

Don’t peel your eggs from big end down
Always start with the end that tapers
Don’t eat food that’s hit the ground
Don’t blow your nose with toilet paper

Mind your manners
Follow the rules
Pick the right friends
And pick the right schools
You won’t feel happy
You won’t be free
But you will be
Correct like me

by Richard W. Bray

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