Walter the Wombat

Walter the Wombat

Walter Wombat went to the store
To find his family some food
The sun was shining, and what’s more
He was in a wonderful mood

When Walter got to the market
The lot was nearly full
As he maneuvered his car to park it
He backed into an angry bull

The bull stepped out of its Audi
And stomped right up to his car
As Walter prepared to say, “Howdy”
He noticed it had a huge scar

This bull didn’t look real pleasant
So Walter prepared for a fight
That’s when a ring-necked pheasant
Marched right into their sight

“Of course, y’all don’t know me”
Said Fred with a glint in his eye
“But I was wondering who could show me
Where worms fall out of the sky”

The bull looked down at Freddy
As steam came out of its nose
And the little bird got ready
To defend against terrible blows

“You really don’t want to perturb me”
Said the bull with blood in his eye
“And it’s a real mistake to disturb me
When I’m about to gore this guy”

Fred said, “I do beg your pardon
I surely do hate to bud in
And I guess I should be startin’
Home to be with my kin”

The bull turned its head quite slowly
Offended by Freddy’s words
“Did you just call me Shirley, lowly
Ring-necked little bird?”

“I believe that you’re mistaken”
Said Walter ignoring his terrors
No bird should be forsaken
For simple linguistic errors”

“The two words surely and Shirley
Are a pair of homophones
So before you get hurly burly
And speak in angry tones…”

But the bull was through with talking
He began to snort and stomp
The world was suddenly rocking
This bull was ready to romp

The bull chased after the wombat
Who headed straight for the stream
He preferred swimming to combat
He had no wish to be creamed

They both ended up in the water
But this didn’t cool off the bull
Which pointed and reared for slaughter
Until he felt the pull

The current quickly took him
To an ocean miles away
The bystanders there mistook him
For a surfer who’d lost his way

This story that I have selected
Has a moral over for you to mull:
Always stay cool and collected
And never back into a bull

by Richard W. Bray

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