The One That Almost Got Away

The One That Almost Got Away

Eustace used to yell at Ted
He yelled so loud he lost his head
It rolled and rolled right down a hill
It rolled past Jack. It rolled past Jill
The head continued to pick up speed
And trundled right down to the sea
When it fell in I heard a plop
Sadly for Eustace, it did not stop
The head descended deeper and deeper
Past flounders and sturgeons and past the keeper
Of the gates to a dangerous zone
Where even the bravest won’t venture alone
The head was captured by a squid
Who hoped to feed it to her kid
When a hungry shark tapped it away
It was grabbed by a guppy who wished to play
Sea volleyball with a huge anemone
The head shut its eyes for it couldn’t bear to see
Countless tentacles smacking it round
When all it wanted was to reach dry ground
An eel was getting ready to serve
When a school of piranha caused it to swerve
The head was snatched by a graceful skate
Who was looking for a paperweight
The skate headed home to bring his wife
A conversation piece to spice up life
When the head was snagged by a Dutch fishing boat
(I hardly believe these words I wrote
But I saw it myself, so I know it’s true
Still, let’s keep this all between me and you)
The sailors who took this head from the sea
Decided to send it back home, C.O.D.
A competent doctor was quickly dispatched
Who was able to get the head reattached
Now Eustace rarely raises his voice
He’ll write a note when given the choice

by Richard W. Bray

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