Today my sources tell me
That you want to be my friend
But first I must inform you
That my standards do not bend

Good for you if your blood’s blue
Do you have kin that’s presidential?
If you’re also good at math
I would say you’ve got potential

Please fill out this application
Only twenty-seven pages
With DNA that’s a-okay
We might be buddies for the ages

And if you would not mind
One small pain in the neck
Such a sensible precaution
Just a simple background check

You might think me an extremist
Stuck up, arrogant and bold
I shall not apologize
I have standards to uphold

Now walk my dog and clean my room
And let me drive your Hummer
If your family has a pool
We’ll be good throughout the summer

If you don’t think it’s worth it
Just to be my friend
I’d say your lack of judgment
Will only hurt you in the end

by Richard W. Bray

Tags: , ,