If you don’t do just what I want, I think I’ll have to scream
I’d really rather not, you know, and all in all, you seem
Like a man, fair and wise, one who would never dream
Of doing things which make me mad, one who I’d never deem

Unworthy of my highest praise unless, of course, you do
Not give in to all my taunts and take me to the zoo
In that case I will hold my breath till one of us turns blue
You see, of course, it’s not my fault. The blame must fall on you

If I drop dead or merely faint, you can’t say you weren’t warned
You’ll feel like a total jerk as I am being mourned
You’ll be ridiculed by friend and foe and quite roundly scorned
You’ll be cast as worse than Satan, a devil hooved and horned

So like I said, it’s up to you to do the thing that’s right
I can’t be held responsible if you don’t see the light
You must obey my every wish if you don’t want a fight
And do everything I ask of you, morning, noon, and night

by Richard W. Bray

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