Silent Murmurs: A Funny Teacher Story

Not my Uncle

Teaching junior high school is a lot like World War Iyou’re not allowed to leave your bunker and the students just keep coming at you in waves.

My uncle who taught Spanish and Social Studies at LAUSD schools in the San Fernando Valley for thirty years experienced many awkward moments in the classroom, but one episode stands out above all the others.

There are times when a teacher senses a silent buzz of commotion in the classroom: Maybe there was a fight in the hallway; maybe the teacher’s shirt is inside out; maybe someone is holding up dirty pictures every time you turn your back.

Once when my uncle was conducting a lesson, it was obvious that the entire class was on the verge of a giant giggle.  My uncle was sure that something was going on, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.  He tried all the tricks: swiveling his head back towards the class immediately after turning to the chalkboard, walking up and down the aisles, eyeballing potential troublemakers.  But the class remained eerily silent until the bell had rung and many smiling students had been dismissed.

My uncle thought, “Phew, glad that’s over, whatever it was.”  Then my uncle looked down and discovered the source of the commotion: Sticking out perpendicular from the middle of his zipper was a long, black pubic hair.

by Richard W. Bray

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One Response to “Silent Murmurs: A Funny Teacher Story”

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